You make me dizzy Miss

You make me dizzy Miss L—

Am writing this from bed. I felt a bit lightheaded earlier today but then tonight this turned into full-out vertigo with the room spinning. This happened to me last year and I was throwing up – ended up in emergency room where they talked about nystagmus and shot me full of tranquilizers. It’s happened a couple of times since then, but I just pop an anti-motion-sickness pill and go to bed for a while, which works okay. Maybe some kind of inner ear infection problem…? This time it’s weirder. It started out as vertigo. I popped a meclizine. Vertigo better, but I still feel off-balance, so when I stand up or try to walk, I keep leaning to the left and fall over. It is very disturbing! The hypochondriac in me fears MS. The rational person goes “my inner ear is fucked up, it’s just another small irritating periodic health problem”.

6 months ago I was worrying about the weird cancerous lumps in my throat but those turned out to be something very common and very disgusting called tonsiloliths, where ‘crypts’ or pits in your tonsils trap some food, like, a piece of rice, and then gunk like tooth plaque forms around it until it’s like a little rock in there, and eventually it gets infected and pustulent and bursts and you cough it up and go, “What the fuck just came out of my throat?”. The ENT told me to gargle often, which, amazingly, works great. I also always wondered why people used to get their tonsils out, and why old people gargle. Now I know, and perhaps to your eternal dismay, you know too.

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