the Big Talk

well dr. analyst hung about till just now. I sat with him reading and being scholarly and drinking port. Also talked family tree and i showed him my dad’s memoirs. His burning ambition is to be a writer and also to write the story of his life, but he can’t manage it.

Around 9 he sprung the “big talk” thing but actually phrased it in terms of asking jhk if he wanted to talk about anything. This immediately led into a fair amount of heinous and laughable lecturing from him on the subject of buying houses and how he has vast experience. (jhk squirming and eating his hands trying not to say that every house they have bought has been like the pits of hell) When the lecture turned to money I casually lobbed the hand grenade i had been saving: ‘in my work at st–f–d’ and it was really beautiful to see the gears turn as I was reassessed in the snobbish brain of the dad in law who thinks i am a lazy and low class parasite on his eldest son, (the reluctant prince). You work there? You work? You are in school and you work? you work at st–f–d?!’ ‘and my mom is paying my tuition’ (my 3rd grenade – my low and stingy parents give us $$) I lob my 4th of how I want phd someday and then 5th of how my burning ambition is to have a job that will support jhk while he (6th) takes time off to write his book. (subtext: your son is doing and will do this thing (writing) that you are dying to do but can’t, ie, son properly fulfilling ambitions of the father)

la la la. I am SO GOOD, I must say. I rolled an 01 on my ‘orate’ skill. i am sincere in it but also i am manipulative. dr. A. pisses me off many, many times in the past but I also respect him in many ways. maybe more pity than respect is there, because i see the lame-ass ways he tries to reach out to his family and constantly fails – in fact is doomed to failure.

this then lead to jhk golden opportunity to talk about his writing and game theory and novel and gm-ing and the history of film theory and narr. theory. I was actually very amazed that dr. analyst listened to it all and seemed impressed. that was the first time I have seen him listen to anything jhk says. usually by sentence two coming out of jhk’s mouth, we are treated to a really ludicrous lecture that is mostly cryptic aphorisms (our favorite, pronounced with killing, confucian gravity: “You have to THINK before you doing ANYthing.” (ie before you waste life playing rpgs and marrying low, sleazy, punk-haired wench, instead of going to medicar school)

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