It’s usually hard for me to fall asleep in the daytime. That little nap I just had was like a fabulous gentle ocean smoothing away all troubles.
Dr. B.’s kid turned 3 today and we had a great time at the party. She seemed tense in general and I wonder what to do to be supportive…I realized all of a sudden that her mom/parent friends are somehow not around. Suddenly it really hit me that her whole social network fell apart when she fell off the lesbo wagon after, what, over 25 years of wild uberfeminist impurity, moved in with boyfriend and got knocked up. And I’m talking the extreme lesbo wagon. No, the XXXtreme. Where are they? Some of them lingered on until the baby shower. They don’t seem to be around now. Does she have no network, but only the boyfriend? so wrong.
I am the only person here from her checkered past. I thought of books like “Passing” which I read long ago. She passes amongst the preschool moms, if she is careful to show only a very superficial skin.
Meanwhile, Moomin was bouncing off the walls with excitement at a whole indoor playground in a huge gym with only 6 other kids in there. He shared toys. He wore a cute hat. He was bold. He boasted that his race car went faster than mine. He talked to other kids. Huzzah, my gentle flower in blossom!
I played on the floor a lot when I realized no one else was.
And huzzah for Rook who also leaped in there to play and make merry. And drove and then dropped me off (dying of sciatica gritting teeth in car) and took Moomin grocery shopping.
thus the nap. the very, very welcome nap.
Sciatica hit me like a hammer in the middle of the party. My leg still has that horrible tingly feeling like hitting your funny bone in your elbow, but all the way down into my foot, and without going away. It makes my foot cramp. Sometimes it prickles or weirdly feels like needles inside trying to stab their way out. Sometimes it is just tingling and an ache that goes all the way from my butt to my foot. Whine, whine. Post nap, I now feel like I can be a normal person without making a giant effort.
MEMO
To: Badger’s brain, Control Center of Body and Empress of the Known Universe
From: Badger’s sciatic nerve or whatever the hell it is somewhere deep in the pained ass or tailbone of Badger
Do NOT attempt to pick up million-pound 3 year old child who has fallen in ball pit and is floundering and flailing. Do not lift and twist. Do not do this while also standing in ball pit on round slippery multicolored ping pong balls. Afterwards, do not sit on floor playing trains.
***
One more indiscreet thing about my friend Dr. B. Not for the first time in lo these many years, I found myself staring at her abstractedly and thinking “My friend, for an XX year old woman, you have the Best Ass on the Planet.” Musing on this to Rook, who somehow had not noticed.