returning

Sanity is returning slowly. I am disgustingly ill. Went to work. Went to stafn. to fill out my timesheets. Home to rest for 2 hours. Successfully avoided thinking, reading or writing about paper-related things.

got parking ticket. Perhaps McCoot will pay it? Realized my whole day was pointless as I made 45 bucks, earned $35 parking ticket, paid $20 for extra child care because I was going to work on my paper (but instead laid in bed like a log). Result: -10 dollars, minus gas money, tax withheld, and pointless exhaustion. I am really dumb sometimes.

Moomin demanding, but delightful. He wrote (typed) quite a lot of words! Most of them without help. I was amazed. Then we made domino chains for several hours. I mean, I was still enthralled by domino chains at… oh… 14 or so… but what is going through his head? Sat back at some point and just watched him make chains. It was enough if I just set up a block or 2 per chain — as long as I did not look at a book or the computer, I was permitted to lie on the couch. He sent them down from block bridges and railroad tracks and the coffee table and made snakes, bifurcating paths, and once, a loop. He was damned pissed that you could not make the dominoes go uphill on the railroad bridge. Then, a castle, princess, horses, invasions, parades, marching bands.

I was so tired and sick feeling but so happy to see him being active and creative. It is really a transition from his former usual state of being passive and dreamy. Okay okay, i overanalyze him… I can’t help it… what else is there to think about while sitting on the floor doing this stuff or watching someone type permutations of “red bug no bug hat on cat rat sat on pat” for an hour…

at least I no longer feel like I’m about to start gibbering and writhing on the floor like a cooking piece of bacon or the melting witch of the west.

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