so incompetent!

It’s amazing how incompetent and irritating people are… it was my day for it as I dutifully like a Roman and a man painted things in the preschool. First of all they declared this whole “day off” thing but did they even have the supplies? were they ready? did they know what they wanted done? noooo. then, passive-aggressive “so clean” bulgarian mom was on my ass all morning. “did you ASK Ananarchi if she wants it white or cream? What do YOU think we shoudl do? What DO you think we should do ? should we tape this? should we tape that? Should we ask Ananarchi if she wants it taped? Or not? Do you think we shoudl bother her?”

I cheerfully told the Bulgarian what to do, every time, but she was always unhappy with my decisions.

“You know, Bulgy, when I ask Ananarchi things, she is kinda too busy thinking of other things to answer. And I think she would be happy with anything that gets improved, and would rather we didn’t bother her every 5 minutes. And I actually LIKE to make decisions. So, I’m deciding that you will do THIS, and I will do THAT. This shall be white. And this shall be cream. Go to it!”

This horribly offended her. I believe what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to bond together in our helpless girliness and inability to do anything or make any decisions.

She didn’t quit asking me what to do all day long, but she got increasingly more disturbed and upset.

I didn’t spatter paint everywhere, and Moomin and Mini-Bulgy were given small watercolor brushes with which they happily painted about 3 square inches in 2 hours. All was well. Ep’s husband worked peacefully and competently off on his own. Other moms washed things with spray bottles.

A very cool thing happened – a freckly and cheerful dream girl appeared on a bicycle and said “I was just riding by on a long bike ride and I saw you all painting and figured I should stop and help out.” She is a freshman at Stanford and seemed a little lonely. Perhaps an ex-girlscout? She painted like a champion for 2 hours. This sort of thing should happen more often.

Grodily, Bulgy and some other mom who I don’t know made many a stupid comment about What Girls Do and What Boys Do. “Oh it’s so especially funny that Exie is loud, BECAUSE SHE’S A GIRL. And how odd that Moomin is so careful and quiet, BECAUSE HE’S A BOY you know. Probably Moomin will want to be SUPERMAN because he’s a BOY. And maybe Mini-Bulgie will want to help us put the KITCHEN things away.

Goddess help me.

Our down the street neighbor Gian-Paul is nearly 5 years old. we went to play with him and his psycho grandma could NOT stop it with the bad gender comments. Me hitting the wiffle ball and she has to say really loud, “Look Gian-Paul, she missed the ball because girls can’t hit the ball hard like boys can. Girls aren’t strong like boys are.” She went on to criticize and emphasize every “boy” thing that he did. Of course I whacked the fuckking wiffle ball into next week on purpose and said “Actually Gian-Paul, I am much bigger and stronger than you because i am a grownup, that is why I can hit the ball so hard. You seem pretty strong too…”

The sad part was the (drunk? otherswise fucked up?) jobless dad in the house (a real macho prick, I know him from when we lived here before) and the kid holding my hand and gazing up at me after about the 5th time I praised him and did not mind when he did some normal kid t hing like, throwing a ball or riding his scooter and falling a little (once the grandma quit and went inside and left us all alone to play) Anyway Gian-Paul gazing up at me and going “I wish you were in my family. Can you come back? Can you come back at night?” and then watching us leave as the dad bellowed nastily for him to get inside goddamn it.

Why must people be such jerks about gender? Even on the “alternative parenting list” fucked up questions about how “my toddler won’t cuddle with me and is this just the way boys are?” What to even say to that? Other than “Gosh and I thought _I_ was fucked up!”

One Response to “so incompetent!”

  1. Iris

    I have had this conversation so often that I had assumed it was the norm.That at toddler stage boys spend their entire lives on their mother’s lap while the girls are like mini versions of Xena and have no fear.I have never fathomed why Nature would have arranged things like that.Also just after my son learned to walk he disappeared into the girls’ bedroom which was heaped with Barbie paraphernalia etc. and finally emerged carrying a tiny car.This was the only ‘boy’ type toy in the entire house at that point and he refused to be parted from it.I never fathomed that either.

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