this weekend

sunday – hung with Squid and her sick kids… I was not directly helpful other than a little baby-holding and hairbrushing and yet I think Squid needed the company and moral support!

Scored a gold ring for my ear… wow, complain about losing your important jewelry and people just throw golden hoops at you! Yes! And the thought that it used to be in her boob makes it so romantic.

i forgot my lunch which I was going to eat in the car so… on the way to bol1nas pulled off to go to the fancy bakery on Irving and 9th. and called Chula and lo and behold she was a block away with Leann andn they had just been to that very bakery! we had lunch…

going across the bridge was strangely ideal, sunny, could see forever – it was so beautiful!

off to SF state to get some errands done. much running around and getting forms. I caught my advisor who was somewhat negative on my bending of the rules. But he said I could try to persuade him. damn i will have to practice my authority-figure blow job skills. 8-P

C. and I then went to pick up the theater curtains which were hosed by the pie-fight. I will go on at length later with general advice for anyone who wishes to hold a formal pie-fight and how to avoid our sad fate. Heed my words of wisdom! Tarp EVERYTHING.

then to get moomin. I took him up to Gon Jill school to look around. the office people had gone home but I talked with someone who was nice and helpful. As if he had been coached, Moomin piped up when she asked him what school he goes to. “Actually, I go to M0ntessori kindergarten. Do you know what? I am a good reader.” woot! way to go Moomin.

in bol1nas me and Doxie went off to the minus tide at Agate Beach. she haad a specific destination in mind so we walked and walked and walked and walked and walked until i was ready to fall over dead. Some dude was sitting on the beach picking up agates and i talked to him for a while… he was clearly mental patient or retarded or something, but quite nice and very happy about finding the agates and talking about whale skeletons. Doxie yanked me away said he was creepy and overly interested in me but she is always freaking paranoid that guys are hitting on me. yo. whatever. Like some schizo out for the day with his sister is going to … what?! o well. I guess she knows more than i do about crazy people!

the reefs were nice…. lots of huge fat starfish… i took a couple of photos of kelpy things, and spouted off about the coolness of the words “stipe” and “holdfast” which i count among my very favorite of cool words.

Every few minute a little rattly trickle of rocks would come jittering down the cliffs sounding like a rain stick.

D. always knows the coolest places to go and walk around.

Later we read wads and wads of poetry and i was treated to many recitations from memory of the dirty bits of e.e. cummings. D.’s poetry is rocking out lately as she is looseningn up. we talked a bunch about her mom who just died last year and her mom’s life. And sadly one of D.’s lovers in Colorado is dying horribly and painfully of cancer and her family is being dicks about it and her daughters wont’ inherit the family billions because the aunts and uncles hate J., the dying woman for being a dyke and are not helping as J.’s lover desperately tries to take care of her during the horrible drastic chemo while not losing her job. but now a hospice is being talked about and death is on the horizon. we talk about death a lot as somany of D.’s stories are about people who were hugely important to her and sound like amazing fantastic people but then, AIDS and 2 decades of people just all dying off like crazy. every time i visit she tells me some of the same stories as when you are kind of slutty you don’t necessarily remember who you’ve told what. and i watch her pour the coffee into Mij’s cup in the morning and she talks to him like he’s there because when they lived together and then when they lived together again when he was dying she would bring him coffee very solemnly. I think that is pretty intense to then for the rest of your life pour a little coffee into a cup for your dead loved one and greet them in the morning as if they could hear you and woudl appreciate the coffee… damn. it always embarrasses me a little bit, I have to admit. but I also admire it.

as every time i visit, D. had many computer questions. she is perpetually outraged that her laptop is out of date though only 4 years old and while she is a brilliant lovely human being i boggle every time i encounter her computer and realize that she mixes up ram and HD space. she has come a long way… and yet, you cannot run osX that some techbot installed for you “helpfully” on your original series ib00k that has only a tiny smidgen of ram on it. you can, but you will spend long boring minutes staring at it and listening to it chug horribly. also sometimes there is no way to avoid calling your isp’s tech support and finding out the correct s+mp server address. i think i fixed a couple of things…i hope…. anyways it is so freakng hard to fix someon’s computer without the proper STUFF and with a horrid dialup connection for reference!

we had dinner at the blue h3ron and D. gave me a rousing pep talk about school and how i’d be an ideal acad3mic and how universities exist to give brilliant flakewads like me a job. and she said she thought i’d be a good teacher. i needed the pep talking. I’m so nervous… if I don’t get in i’ll just have to adjust my mind completely to the thought that I’ll be doing something else.

and there was much gossip about everyone in the community and I recieved many small lectures on the secret history of lesbian feminism in san francisco and who did what and said what and who fucked whom and who used to be anti-kink and then turned out to be kinky. and at odd moments I read Patrick’s transg3nder history book which was quite good. I’m going to buy it and finish reading it! D. said there was an offensive rant in there about K. B0rnstein but you know, when someone is a brilliant ranter, they are bound to occasionally rant against people who are not deserving of it… I am forgiving of such things in general. possibly because over-ranting and not quite meaning it is one of my major failings.

i love visiting her… i have to say though it is hard for me to reconnect and do everything at once in one short evening… It’s so weird to be around her and in some ways it is just like when we were together 10-ish years ago and in other ways just totally not — I mean, i’m not 25 anymore, so much has happened, we don’t reallly know each other well and yet we sort of fall into this weird (somewhat false?) intimacy. i’m not saying anything bad against it but it is disconcerting. There is no map of how to be like that. and yet life should be like that i think and you should not stop loving people just because your lives aren’t the same anymore…

she was also just like, “there is no map for me of how i’m supposed to be and i have no clue what i’m doing, you are not supposed to be 61 and have this much fun and run around in little leather schoolgirl skirts and my hair in a bow getting fucked all the time in different cities by random strangers and then i look in the mirror and look like someone’s nice old grandma…” Well sometimes I have that disconcerting feeling usu. when I realize in public people are looking at us and assuming she is my mom. but otherwise, i look at her and just see her and i’m not constantly tripping out on her age or anything. I’m such a fucking letch that i’m just thinking about getting up in her pussy anyway so what the hell. pussy knows no age. Well, it knows a little age. but surprisingly little. Yo, that was tacky of me to say but I’m hoping this is so buried in the middle of the post that no one will notice.

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