yaaaah, creepylicious

Today I experienced the smiling face of evil…. Squid got me into the very fancy country-club swimming pool of the Scary Fundamentalist Church on the hill. It was lovely… and fancy… and almost totally deserted (which she said is rare – it’s usually bustling.)

Even while enjoying the niceness of it all and swimming around and basking by the pool, I kept wondering, how come this just can’t be for everybody? What the hell? Why are all the nice facilities of things tied to religion? I mean, it has totally nothing to do with it. And then it sucks away all the money that could go to support public stuff for everyone. And the generally creepy thought that around me, there’s all these people who are secretly weird fundamentalists, or mormons, or whatever. OMG, aliens!

My parents sent me to Catholic school for a year, just cause it was a private school and they hoped it was good. But, too expensive! And — very weird. I look at the people walking to the nearby school and think… who could stomach the scariness of sending your kid to a school called “Lutttheran Red333mer”? Or like, “Our Bleeding Lord of Scariness”? You might as well send them to “Vampire Zombie Thor” school for all the sense it makes to me. And why the fuck does Jesus want everyone to wear little plaid skirts?

Sophie, yesterday, was coloring with moomin and lorded it over him with her knowledge of God. “you know what Moomin, this can’t be the Best coloring ever, because only GOD is the best colorer.” “I know that.” Moomin replied, know-it-allishly and lyingly. “But, excuse me? What do you mean, GOD? Which god? God of what?” “Duh! I mean, DUH! He’s just GOD. He doesn’t HAVE a name.” “What? That’s funny. How come?” I intervened… “ER actually some people say She not He, and different people have different names, and there are different gods and different ideas about god…” And they stared at me blankly while I rambled. Ack! Clearly Moomin needs a little education. I will be busting out the D’Aulaire’s Myths or something as even Unitardians aren’t flakey enough for me.

How come people get all over my ass if I want to go have a women-only event or a GLBT community center, but it’s all fine and dandy for these assholes to have christian this and bible-thumping that? They’re into identity politics TOO. No one ever points this out.

Even the YMCA which is in theory for everyone, is Xtian, and they cost a zillion dollars to join and you have to join it for 6 months or a year just like a health club. So not really a public facility.

And i think of all the arguments people make that if everyone can come in, then the niceness will be ruined and it will be too crowded and everything will be messed up. But no! I disagree completely… if that happens, it means THERE AREN’T ENOUGH PARKS and you should make more not less, and support them more. With money, and staff, and care & maintenance.

Suckage! I hate people and their bullshit… This is not my socialist utopia…

Also, even my Tampax Pearl wonders of the world keep leaking. WTF… What is going on? And when they leak but are still half-dry, what’s up with that? Then you’ve got blood all over and it still rips the hell out of you when you yank it out – as if it’s grown velcro feelers. Rrrrrrrip, OW. I might as well be folding up a paper towel really tiny and ramming it up there for all the good the expensive tampons are doing me.

Chula at lunch was saying there should be Tampax Perl. What the hell that would be, I have no idea, but the goofiness of it is still making me laugh.

Moomin loved the wading pool, and was very brave in the big pool. He stayed in by himself for nearly an hour, clinging to the edge like a tiny water monkey, clambering over the line markers.

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7 Responses to “yaaaah, creepylicious”

  1. squid



    Sputter, sputter, disclaimer: I am not a member! I am milking a donated one-month membership that I won at my son’s school auction. Glad Moomin had such a cool time.

  2. badgerbag



    i know you’re not! and that you were trying to Counteract Evil by getting us to come! I had a good time… and really some nice moments of doing my favorite pool thing, which is lying on the warm cement and looking at the glittery bits of mica from under my eyelashes and sort of smelling the smell of sun on cement. And, getting to see you, which is all too rare lateyly!
    I’m a huge grouch today, and a total asshole… It can’t be helped…

  3. whump



    And why the fuck does Jesus want everyone to wear little plaid skirts?
    Um, there were some things they had to redact from the Gospels. Lots of payouts. John the Baptist was furious, but kept his mouth shut.

  4. severin



    re: tampax perl
    1) it’s just like tampax c, but without the leaks.
    2) it is easy to apply, but no one else will ever be able to maintain it

  5. lq



    (a) just back from visiting family in virginia & i was also thinking about how a certain brand of xtians really don’t like to use mainstream versions of things; they must have their own xtian gyms, xtian sex manuals (“Total Woman” by Beverly LaHaye, oh my FUCKING GOD), xtian science fiction novels (more lahaye), etc., etc. identity politics is a nice term for what they’re doing. … do people really get on your case for queer- or woman-centered stuff? tell ‘em to fuck off!
    (b) as for all the nice stuff being xtian, i was *also* recently thinking about how there are constant free lectures about religion — numerous places to go for free lectures about different aspects of religion, on a weekly basis. imagine if every week there were free lectures about science! five or six different ones within walking distance, hundreds in a largish city the size of boston. i mean, if there were as many opportunities to have free education about SCIENCE as there are opportunities to have free education about various wacky religious ideas, i think this world would be in much better shape. these religious peddlers have really got a good thing going: give it away and get all these money back in donations by screwing with people’s heads. NPR & Pacifica could take lessons. and there must be lessons for artists and musicians regarding copyright. … but mostly i just wish we gave away KNOWLEDGE for free the same way we give away religious training. … or even better, apply some basic economics and give away knowledge, but charge for RELIGIOUS TRAINING. ha.

  6. Anonymous



    > And i think of all the arguments people make that if everyone can
    > come in, then the niceness will be ruined and it will be too crowded
    > and everything will be messed up.
    Ha! But that’s what people say about their churches too, sometimes!
    P.S. “The Total Woman” was by Marabel Morgan. http://www.usask.ca/relst/jrpc/article-selfhelp.html

  7. lq



    total woman author correction – thanks; somehow i have been thinking for a long time that lahaye wrote TTW, but i can see it was a different xtian marriage manual.

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