real humanity

The gastro dr. was a real human being, smart, listened, talked, explained, had a plan… She kicks ass! She also got on the phone to figure out when she could do an endoscopy on me – and got on the phone in front of me, which i respect… In my other dr. office, for sure they would just be like, “an appointment nurse will call you. sometime. maybe.”

Anyway, Dr. Butch rocks. She said gallstones are not ruled out, but she suspects a duodenal ulcer and possibly something else going on. She explained endoscopy and said there woudl be major IV tranquilizers and some kind of throat-numbing spray so you don’t gag so much. basically I will deep-throat a pencil-sized hose with a camera and a laser thing on it. So they project the video of it on a big wall-sized screen and I will get to see my esophagus, stomach, and small intestine, which is a good experience for a poet, much like going into outer space or the bottom of Lake Baikal in a bathysphere, and it will only take 10 minutes, probably. If they see anything bleeding, they cauterize it right then, and if they see anything freakin’ odd, they take a biopsy of it. This will happen next monday. If they don’t see anything at all and it’s a huge mystery, then: CAT scan. If there is still nothing, then they figure out something from there.

There was also some feedback I appreciated from her, validating, like, “Yeah, that’s not okay if you suddenly can’t eat without pain and the pain wakes you up at night; And, your dr. was so wrong about irritable bowel, and, also, she was wrong with prescribing you both aciphex and prilosec, just pick one, and maybe it will help and maybe not, but it sounds like it’s not helping as much as it should be if this were simply ulcers.”

We also talked about diet. She said to experiment, since we don’t know what is going on anyway.

I had an extremely weak non-fat lukewarm latte. (It is noticably VERY painful to eat anything hot or cold…) Then recklessly, around noon, I had some tuna casserole. This is not really hurting more than the saltines and non-fat yogurt… though I think it is hurting for a longer time.

Well, I’m comforted and relieved that she was such a good human being. I lucked out too and got this sort of butchy dykey matter of fact person who, to me, just “felt” like a normal person I could relate to. Like, wearing formal black jeans and … I can’t explain… without “hairstyle” or a lot of jewelery if you know what I mean. Certain people just seem like aliens to me, and they are more likely to see me as a scary, irritating junkie….but Dr. Butchina was just like someone I might be normally friends with.

There was no “office nonsense” of forms and nurses asking a million questions and databases which no one ever looks at again. You know what I mean? That was a very good sign. I hate when you fill out all these medical history forms, then you take off all your clothes (which – I never do that anymore no matter what….!) the nurse examines you and writes down your blood pressure and askes questions, then half an hour later the dr. comes in for under 5 minutes… You know that whole routine? This was different. We sat like normal people talking in her office, which was full of obviously-often-consulted reference books and specialty magazines. Perhaps that just means “very expensive doctor not being pressured by PPO” …?? But to me it means that the dr. has respect for the patient as a person – and that she is smart and a reading/researchy person.

As there was no reason for me to take off all my clothes, this dr. just yanked up my shirt and poked around a bit. So… SANITY. She can stick her camera down my throat all she wants.

I am scared I will not get to go to my conference, but i am trying to believe maybe I will get to go. But I am not going to go out this weekend. Alas, I will miss the halloween queen of heaven party, and many other good things.

Just having lunch, getting the oil in my car changed, and walking next door to the camping store to buy some new thermal undies —- this exhausted me. Completely bone-tired. Rest… and a real nap.

OMG the thermal undies are PERFECT. Silk is good, but I like them smooth and not “pointelle” which snags annoyingly on my hangnails. So – they had “microfleece” tight long undies – very perfect – they fit perfectly, not too long (rare because I’m short) and fit under my jeans. Yay! The old ones are baggy as I wore them all through pregnancy and beyond. I will be toasty warm all winter.

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9 Responses to “real humanity”

  1. garnet



    Yay! I’m so glad you found a good doc at last! And with a plan. I hope you get some answers soon.

  2. Grace



    >>jumping up and down, fist smacking the air<<
    YES!
    Dr. Dykeness rules!

  3. serena



    I second and third the above comments. This one is a REAL doctor. I will sleep easier now.

  4. Lisa Hirsch



    Hooray for Dr. Butch! Hooray for a matter-of-fact real human doctor!
    I’m wondering if Dr. Butch knows a nutritionist or dietician who might have some experience with people who’ve got your set of symptoms and who might be able to suggest dietary stuff for you to try, thus sidestepping some of the experimentation.

  5. whump



    This and the Sox winning the series made my day!

  6. badgerbag



    Bill! I didn’t know you cared so much about my long undies!

  7. whump



    You named your undies Shoeless Joe?

  8. talliegurl



    Glad you’ve found a good Doc at last…maybe we need the name of this Dr…can you share??

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