Archive for November, 2005

Peeing in Peace

Check out “Peeing in Peace“, from the Transgender Law Center. How useful – wish we’d had it in the Astrodome. I’m sure the TGLC is passing this on to disaster relief organizations…

Lookin’ at stats

A quick peek. Weekly… average of 4000 page loads; over 2000 unique visitors. Hmm. Oh beautiful keywords!

– girls covered with glue
– dick on fire
– personal stories of jock itch
– abortion jokes
– bikini cupcakes
– black gaydar
– nanny poems
– double consciousness dubois

The humbling weight of responsibility! I must blog learnedly on all these topics, pronto, so as not to disappoint. Maybe a single blog post, badgerbag-style, touching upon each.

life’s simple pleasures meme

Everyone’s doing this over on LJ. How could I pick only 5?

1. Very Hot baths with lots of different soaps, lotions, scrubs.
2. A pile of books all tangentially related, open or with a ton of bookmarks stuck in, spread out all around me.
3. New blank notebooks.
4. Stinky cheese.
5. Seeing my kid thinking, making, figuring-out.
6. Good massages that go on forever.
7. The moment of certainty where I know something is fantastic (whether I’ve written it, or someone else)
8. Long underwear.
9. Being “in flow”.
10. Estate sales, cheap, of interesting dead people.

found: monsters, confined

– The lower half of “The Gorn” action figure, coffined in a harmonica case.

– 3 boxes of staples

(Did you know? You are safe from scary monsters if you encapsulate or jail them, just like Ramona the Brave puts the gorilla book under the couch cushions. Bad guys in this house end up dismembered, wrapped with string, stuffed into sock drawers. Sometimes in the bath at midnight I discover Godzilla with his tail stuck in the drain cover for just this reason – and I am happy that Moomin knows how to deal with fear. )

my morning so far

Moomin’s breakfast.
My coffee and graham crackers.
Moomin’s lunch.
Stuff Moomin into clothes.
Stuff laundry into washer.
Harangue Moomin into putting his pjs away, hang up bathrobe, eat all of sandwich today, turn in homework. Cuddle him. Listen to his Thing of the day which is Mt. Everest. Look for Everest book. Fail to find it.
Stuff Moomin and Rook out the door.
Look for staples to staple magazines. Nope.
Shelf where staples last were. Full of junk.
File papers
Sort through shelf of borrowed books and books to go Out
Put away books
Put away more books
Put away cowboy pistols
Put away bits of legos and stuff
Do some dishes
Clear off table
Wipe sticky table. throw away sticky papers.
Put all the crayons and pencils from the table into separate places.
Jo’s books. Squid’s books. Garnet’s books. A video from Barak. Hmm.
Pick up dishes from all over the house. And soda cans.
Sneeze a lot.
Collect clothes in a bag to take to knitting party (swap meet, too?) And books.
Hang up everyone’s jackets. Put more mystery laundry in hamper.
Make grocery list.
Resolve to buy yarn today, and knitting needles.
Put away food from the morning. Consider food situation.
Add more things to grocery list.

I fucking refuse to go buy staples when the house is so full of crap and I know I have at least 3 boxes of them hidden somewhere.

Hey Look it’s 9am already!

plain and pretty

I woke up thinking how much I’d like to read “Pla1n Jane and Pretty Betty” again. What a poisonous little ray of sunshine that one is.

It was about a spoiled little butterfly teenager of a girl, her unhappy whining overspending socialite mother, and her dyspeptic high-blood-pressure-having dad who was a zillionaire stockbroker. And Plain Jane who is exactly Betty’s age or something, and lives in the same town, and their paths cross for some reason, and Jane is drab & etc. Of course her family’s shabbby house is filled with Love. You can imagine it, right? And you know what happens next, right? Molly Ringwald learns to sew. Betty’s dad loses all his money in the 1929 crash and they have to move into a tiny shack next door to Jane’s or perhaps it was a white-painted 3 bedroom cottage with no servants. (same difference). The nouveau poor learn how to be happy and fulfilled. Of course Jane and Betty soon discover they are cousins, or maybe I’m remembering it slightly wrong, and the parents of them both were missing a parent so they can get married and become one big happy family in a shack without dental care, toilets, or washing machines. I believe Betty discovers her unique talent for Interior Decoration and they start a business.

Nevermind that the real story would be more like Jane cries tears of relief when she can finally afford to buy a piece of cheese after whoring herself out on the street with Betty’s dad as her pimp.

Next time I go to NYC I’m going to go to the Tenement Museum for sure… Steph told me all about it.

It’s National Make Fun of Rape Week!

I’m not linking to it, but Rook is cracking me up by trolling the nasty conservative rape apologist posts and posting stuff like this:

But you don’t have any funny mocking phrases there. Can you help come up with some fun ways to make fun of women who are held down forcibly and have penises thrust into their crotches without being penetrated?

The idea is to make cutesy phrase to make fun of the stupid feminists who call it “near rape”. I thought of one new one: “It Tastes So Good, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Rape”. But I’m sure there are better ones out there.

OMG, when Rook trolls, he really goes for it. Years of practice of Internet Arguing! My mate! Defending the honor of all of us who get blindingly angry and have the tackiest ever bitter humor!

so smart!

Peanut now comes over to the door between our houses and calls for me! I’m all like, “say my name bitch!” I get so flattered when tiny babies know me… My campaign of always giving her a piece of cheese or a cookie while making her say “Auntie Badger” – it worked!

Moomin suffers my lectures about how she Admires him. And now I slip him a quarter every time he tries to teach her how to read. It’s awesome! He got her to go through his wooden puzzle with the letters. The Acrobat wistfully hopes that Moomin will be “like a big brother” to her – I think he imagines a babysitting big brother… not a beating-up big brother… So, perhaps he will pay some special attention to Moomin and teach him something cool and nerdy, to reward him for being nice to the Nut! Because I got a demand for “TWO quarters” tonight and I’m not sure my wallet can handle it.

Oh man I forgot to mention how funny it was to hear Moomin and Sophie the other night in his room going, “Cheese, Grommit!” over and over with perfect intonation.

new room

The room looks so good with the huge rug, and christmas lights, and the spare cat-pee futon with an end table! I can’t believe we made this magic new place in one day! I’m trembling with exhaustion.

I tried to put all the feelings into it that y’all would want me to. Did you know that YOU were in the room? You totally were. Because I know how much you wanted to be there, helping.

My original plan was: build it cheap and half-assed. Because of thriftiness, not wanting to measure anything, & not being sure it will last or is legal to the building code. So, two by four frame pieces at about 5 or 6 feet, with plywood nailed to it. We figured nails first and then bolts later, so as not to have to mess with drilling. We measured anyway – roughly. The posts were 6 feet apart on the side and 18 feet apart in the front. I figured two 4 x 4s, one 8.5 feet high and one 9 feet high, would break it up to 6 foot lengths…

Then at the hardware store we saw Instant Fences. All different kinds… 6′ by 8′ panels in various styles, around 55-85 bucks each. The prettiest one was the only one in stock. So we got 4 panels of that and one shorter gate-sized panel. You do the math – obviously the 8 foot thingies were not quite right. But who cares? Instant Fence! And some large large nails and some bolts too. I forgot that it is hard to nail a nail through a ginormous post.

The garden dude helped us load up my truck. I am a wuss… Jo has much better upper body strength. My hands hurt lately and especially my right arm is sort of weak from … I’m sad to say it’s from Steph’s massage, that time when against all logic I was like, “press harder in that one super painful spot, maybe I cna breathe through the pain!” but what it means is that spot still hurts and my arm is somehow damaged. I’m sure it will get better. Anyway, Jo did most of the heavy lifting.

Back at her place. We drove instantly away from the hard work to have lunch at the cafe. (Jo’s car.) Ep drove past..we did a u-turn and all ganged up for a while. Back to Jo’s again. Work! Work! Work! The panels fit rather well, by some miracle! We had a whole extra panel! I went to return it and get a smaller one and a crapload of different kinds of random angle brackets and mending plates since none of us could nail through a 2 x 4. We had forgotten, also, to buy the 4 x 4 post(s).

Then! It was built.

Moomin was astonished. He decorated it with flowers. Well, only three. Still, the thought… Even cynical Eliz. was impressed.

It needs more brackets and plates to secure it, and one more post. The small panel might go to patch the gap in the front or it could end up as a gate on rollers.

Jo was distracted from brooding anger nearly all day; she’s exhausted from hard physical labor; she now has a sort of Room even if it is mostly outdoors, chilly, wet, open to the sky. Her exercise bike can go in there. It is a cozy fun place and will be good for parties! She had an Idea and it became true! I hope it keeps helping in whatever way possible…

I love having a Thing to do and just doing it – flexibly and with a positive attitude. Even better if there are a whole bunch of people. The Ballerina Pie Fight was nice that way. I think I would enjoy being crew on a play, like, building weird sets… that sort of thing.

the wall

Jo called me very early. “I’ve been up since 5:30 — I have a cockamamie Plan.” So straight from dropping off kids at school we swept over to Home Despot, bought some sections of redwood fencing with latticework tops, and overloaded my little workhorse truck…

1 more trip to the Despot later! There’s been drilling, and marking, and angle-bracketing, and lots of screwing. Now there is a Wall. The Eichler carport is fenced off from the street and the front passageway. It looks great! There is more securing & anchoring to be done. But it’s amazing how good it looks.

something there is that totally loves the fuck out of a wall!