togetherness vs. loafitude

I woke up early and busted my ass with more cleaning-n-organizing and sent off some poetry. Go, me!

Rook & Moomin & I then just lurked around eating pie, frosted flakes, reading, blogging… Moomin displayed his robot transformer tinkertoy creations for me. “Look, this one has a helicopter head, and then it pops up and you take its head off and turn it around and it transmogrifies into a SUN.” Excuse me? did you just say “transmogrify”? Thank you, Calvvin & Hobbbes books, for popping that word into my kid’s brain and thus adding hugely to my amusement for the day!

And Rook just announced he is taking Moomin out for lunch and to the game store. For a moment I was like, “What? Me too!” but then realized it was my opportunity to power-loaf. Later there will be a ton of people over! And I’ll be baking and cleaning up and the chaos will blast my mind right out through my 19th chakra or whatever chakra suddenly opens when one’s house is full of fingerpainty kids armed with scissors and duct tape – kids who dearly wish to decorate the ceiling.

Still… moment of nice togetherness? or power loafing? Too late – it has already been decided. I’m going back to bed with Naomi Mitchison’s wartime diaries – which are just great. How cool is Rook for whooshing Moomin away for some bonding and doing what they both like to do….!

And to buy xmas presents, which we had a totally dumb fight about the other day. I got on the couch and started getting in his face about how we must talk about the present thing. i.e. I have already busted my ass to deal with his relatives and mine and photos and blah blah blah, right? in a pleasant nice way really, most of the time… but realized i had only 5 things for Moomin and most of them were crap. (Pipecleaners. Some old used books from Rook’s mom.) Rook was like, “um, 5 things. good, you’re done.” “What? Look, I’m just saying YOU have to think about it for a bit. And you don’t have to be so grinchy.” I was surly. He was surly back. But as is our wont… we were kind of indirect and ended up accusing ourselves of things, instead of yelling at each other. “Well it’s like you’re thinking I’m heartless and don’t care about my own son! And that I think there shouldn’t be christmas!” “Well it’s like YOU’RE implying I am spendthrift, annoying, and in some kind of housewifely consumerist frenzy! But I pretty much dumpsterdived everyone’s presents! I’m just saying!” And then we were like, “No, that’s not really what I meant!” although maybe on some level it was. That’s how we fight, people! We’re such weirdos!

It turns out his xmases as a kid were all sucky, stressful, he did not get anything fun or nice… while mine were super fun. We made lists, we made decoratey things, my mom made nice food, my dad was cheery with a beer or two in him, singing the occasional venezzzuelan carol while strumming his out-of-tune cuatro. My mom was an expert at the Craft Project. I particularly remember the toothpick and superglue snowflakes with spray-on snow that we made one year and then every year afterwards would see the ornaments on the tree. Then Minnie and I got early-morning stockings on our beds full of amusing crap and candy, and woke our parents up super early to a giant treeful of presents and there were always good ones that you could fart around with and take up the whole day with some insane craft project or science experiment. There was usually no church-going or any sort of crap. Later we would demand to go over to so-and-so’s house but this was usually refused with horror and shock… as one was SUPPOSED to be spending time with one’s FAMILY but since by that time we’d all retreated into our books or late-afternoon naps eventually friends were called and playing was allowed. When I picture the likely hell of pointlessness Rook dealt with every year I can understand his attitude. Earlier in my life we spent more time at relatives’ which just meant more dressing up, less fun playing, and weird, tense dinners where I didn’t understand what was going on, but at least the food was fucking fantastic and you know, white and gold tablecloths with crystal… escarole soup… aw yeah. Or the other relatives’ where I could play with my uncles, which was great.

So I got a few more presents for people and tried to cool off on my expectations and be less snappy, and he spontaneously made a list and volunteered to have a Shopping Outing with Moomin.

We had a nice time last night playing Rat R4ce and eating pie. Moomin helped me roll out the pie crust. I was trying to strongarm Rook into helping me or at least hanging out in the kitchen while I did kitcheny things but again I think we had a disconnect as I was thinking “nice family time thing” and he was thinking “one of us could be free, free, free as the wind to mess about and think.” That’s how we operate by default and actually I like it that way as it gives us all a lot of room. But it also means we have to decide on purpose to all hang out together.

After Moomin was asleep we watched “Children of Heaven” – which I thought would be depressing but which wasn’t – about 2 kids in Iran who have to share a pair of sneakers so they can both go to school.
I recommend it to you all!

To bed! To napping – and beyond!

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