why doctor visits tend to piss me off

Saw Dr. Crustyov. Thanks for the zithromax 3-pack, asshole. Also for the information that I have a fever and swollen up nasal passages and a lot of mucus. I knew that. Also for explaining to me for 10 minutes how I should take my temperature every couple of hours “because it’s important to know” and “if my temp is even 98.7, that’s a fever and that’s IMPORTANT.” Important for what? Because according to him my temperature should at all times be exactly 98.6. I did not say “But… that is utter bullshit… 98.6 is an average!!!” Instead I was polite… and smiled…. and nodded… and merely repeated the simple outline of the problem as I see it. (Pain in right side of throat and right ear. Not a regular sore-throat-and-cold. Tonsils sometimes give me trouble, maybe this is related, maybe not. I did not mention the vertigo history though that was also my right ear.)

Thanks for telling me that my right ear and throat look completely normal and that I should not be obsessed with my tonsils and that my tonsils are totally normal for a woman my age and that I do not need my tonsils out. (I didn’t ask… ) “Maybe you had some problems with your tonsils when you were a child. But that doesn’t mean they are important now.” Gee thanks!

But most of all thanks for the pointless, non-followed-up-on, suggestion that I might have lupus because my face and neck are all red and rashy. Thanks for telling me it “doesn’t LOOK like rosacea”. Freakazoid asshole. Does so. Like I need to be any more paranoid. If you think there is some pointers to lupus then explain it or order some tests. I guess it’s fine that he is alert that I fit the profile… but whatever… i just have some acne and rosacea… what bullshit! “Something to keep in mind.” Thankssssss. I think this guy is senile.

“So, what do you do? You’re a writer? You must have quite an imagination then.”

Yes, I am a crazy lady. What of it?

Whatever, the important thing is I have some possibly pointless zithro which in theory might help to heal the thing that I, myself, can see on the right side of my throat, behind my tonsils… which your rheumy ancient eyes somehow missed… you know that oozing pustulent looking bleeding ulcerous thing in the back on the right side? Maybe if you had used a tongue depressor to actually look at the back of the throat? Not that it is important he see it… but I hate for a doctor to say that actualy I am not feeling pain at all and that everything is normal. Hello, I have not eaten solid food for 3 days and it hurts to talk – it is not like I’m making that up.

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8 Responses to “why doctor visits tend to piss me off”

  1. e

    have you tried oil of oregano? that’s what i’m trying now as it ws recommended to me and i’ll do anything to get my voice back by tomorrow.
    yours in snot.

  2. wired

    NGGGG! I hate those doctors, too. It why I haven’t gotten around to seeing one out here. I hate all of them except the good ones, and the good ones are damn hard to find.
    Oh, I miss you, Dr. T. You who listened to me, and recommended books, and believed me, and explained that if you treated something, and it was fixed, then we were both happier than if you did possibly-inconclusive tests. Who kept writing specialist referrals for me every time I asked. Who I was out to. Who asked after both my partner and my lovers. Who helped manage my partner’s mental health. Who told me your own birth trauma stories. Who gave me kleenex when I cried.

  3. Lisa Hirsch

    Um. badger, why do you see this doc?

  4. badgerbag

    He’s the one who always has open same-day appointments in the morning! I wonder why…
    Sometimes I get the ham-handed Bulgarian and at this point I kind of prefer her. My own dr. is pretty nice and smart but I have to wait a couple of weeks to see her of course!
    Still can’t believe that he made a big deal about my skin. I did not ask him to comment on my unfortunate acne… for fuck’s sake…

  5. elswhere

    This is the second lousy-doctor post I’ve read today. Mir has one also and it got like 40 comments, the majority of them saying “my doc sucks, too.”
    It’s creepy. Bad doctors. Yuck. So sorry.

  6. minnie

    wtf? whjy is this person your doctor? freaking sqwitch doctor and write a letter letting this one know why you are not seeing him anymore and then post his name and your review of him on yelp or something.

  7. minnie

    alos, have you tried catching a porcupine at the full moon, dunking it in the well out back at midnight and then stuffing the quills into your brain? its a ye olde RI reciept for curing too much snot. or, as i like to say, TMS.

  8. badgerbag

    At least he gave me the antibiotics and didn’t accuse me of asking for pain meds!
    My ear had a magic breakthrough this afternoon; I am exhausted and sickfeeling still, but something popped in there and it isn’t flooring me with pain anymore… Also, my fever is down.
    WHEW. antibiotics rock…

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