And then the condensed version of the rest of my life

Also from the last few days:

- had a super great meeting with christy to talk about translation, thesis stuff, science fiction, feminism. She’s a person from my dept. at Daly City State University who was a year or so behind me & we have a lot of intersecting interests… and she also writes snarky cool articles for local magazines and is about to go to Colombia on a long trip just to do it, and is like some kind of eco warrior, and writes stories and a novel or novella which I liked very much… and there was more, but I’ve spaced it out a little… We are going to do a translation workshop day in the summer with my friend Nora (who she also knows from school ) and I also want to invite yellowjellybean and Mark P’s friend Anna… and there was someone else… For some serious sharing/reading and working through of each others’ translation projects!

- fun date for lunch w/ xoxy by the touristy bits of town – we didn’t care what we ate and looked at sea lions when not making out heinously in public even more than we already have. could talk forever both ways. feeling of instant click & comfortable openness, etc. continues faster than full speed ahead. I am too shy to blog about it. but it is part of what is making my life feel so awesome and great right now.

- worked incredibly fucking hard on my translations to finish them up and do everything correctly. and I need to do more yet b/c there is one I’m missing so I need to go to Staffnord library and get that whole project out of the way (as much as possible – they will send me proofs and there will be 2 rounds of edits and I will have to also do that with the author in Chile, so that is 4 rounds of edits for me really, in the middle)

- talking about new game campaign a bit with Rook. I need to pick an area to research/document and do some work on it with him! and I want another player wiki for this game! Poor rook got into a fight with the owner of a wiki related to the book we’re using for the game… it was really gross! so we need our own.

- talking wiki stuff with Quilter. need to write some emails etc. for that.

- last week got suddenly super pissed at c. and sent spazzy emails. WHILE just getting my period. It wasn’t pretty. I am embarrassed I got so irrational and pissed off but we did get some communication around some of those things. And I then said that if I felt that mad or needed to process in the moment i would ask someone else to listen to my anger/sadness – not her – and yet in the interests of honesty and openness would let her know what was up when calmed down. I am not used to/ good at anger or conflict when it is personal conflict. I don’t feel comfortable or safe expressing it… And was astonished that C. did not just blow me off utterly. She pointed out she was specifically committed to not blowing me off and that she is the all time master of blowoffyness, which is 110% true… and that if she were out to do that, it would be quite uncomplex and obvious. I felt suddenly a lot fo things come together for me – especially stuff Rook has taught me about being at least a tiny bit emotionally reserved and the value of that (he is a lot, i am not at all, but learning.) IN the last couple of months I have felt like I am really dealing with and accepting our breakup, and even approving of it (though it is still quite painful at times) and that I believe in our friendship as a good thing. I think that up to late Nov. I was still crying every day and sometimes waking up crying from specific nightmares. That’s all I’ll say about that, but I feel specially dishonest on this blog for not having at least tried to summarize that that’s been going on for me.

- worrying a bit about Rook and trying to be supportive of him in work heinousness.

- My stomach problems are acting up a little bit again, like last fall. It’s not horrible, or too painful, but I have lost my appetite, feel a little bit blurrrrrgh like faint nausea or hollow pain or like i’ve overeaten when i haven’t… and can’t seem to eat as much as I should. And any sort of rich or greasy food is right out – I can barely deal with milk or cheese at all and I really like milk & cheese. (Must start on having no alcohol, minimize coffee.) I think it was stress over starting the class. But now I feel very confident I can handle teaching and will learn how to do it efficiently w/out overworking myself.

- did assloads of laundry, dishes, the usual – bought 2 pairs of jeans new – same as my favorite pair with the hole that needs patching – levis 515 stretch straight leg, fyi, size 6 short. Scrounged clothes for Moomin from 2 friends with taller kids.

- signed Moomin up for school after-care for 3 days a week. Next week I’ll dive happily into working for ST and will go to their hackathon thing.

And now I am going to go do a science experiment with Moomin at his request… we’ll pick something out of a book. C. and I are meeting tonight to have serious talk about boundaries and our friendship (dinner?) and to see Pan’s Labyrinth which everyone so very highly recommends to me. It also sounds like the kind of movie I will want to see again with Rook.

Related posts


Leave a Reply