Sciatica pwned!

Let me just boast here for a minute that I’m a total stud. Pain and crutches can’t keep me the hell down. Of course, it helps to have insurance, money, and someone to drive me around. I lucked out to get my *real* doctor stat, and not the ham-handed Bulgarian who thinks Ibuprofen will give me Reyes Syndrome (??!!) or the crusty-eyed crazy guy who always rants for 10 minutes about the Great Importance of Taking Your Temperature. Neither of them would have done what I wanted without a lot of runaround and weeks of wasted time. No!! Instead, I got my awesome doctor who is a sports medicine person, and so who knows what it means to be injured and yet not want to let it keep you down.

Therefore! I now have awesome physical therapy, Celebrex, some kind of scary muscle relaxant to take at night if I need it. “I don’t really like that stuff…” “Girl, you know what happens at night, you’re not going to rest until you’re crying with pain, that’s what I do, so have this at your back.” “Okay well give me one I can cut in half because I’m a super lightweight and don’t like to be drooling and passing out.” I also have a disabled parking placard thanks to her having the form all there and ready, and thanks to Rook hauling ass to pick me up and bring me to the DMV, and thanks to the DMV people letting us slip in 2 minutes before 5pm and not giving us any hassle.

However, the trip to dr. office plus the DMV has me pretty exhausted and I’m already kinda thinking “Huh, a muscle relaxant might not be so bad, even if it’s called ‘Soma’.” But first some ice and heat and Celebrex. It’s true that I really really hate that passing-out feeling of my brain not being my own.

She offered to MRI me right away but then we talked a bit, I gave her the history, and she said well then maybe wait a week, if it gets better no need, if it doesn’t, then whatever we’d see, we’d still see.

Now, they MRIed it in the past when it was like this and saw nothing, but on the other hand I was at Valley Med and on welfare, so who knows, my whole disk could have been bulging out like a nasty water balloon and they could have missed it in favor of their favorite diagnosis, “crazy lady meds-seeking malingering crack whore.” (Nothing against whores; if anyone in pain needs some meds, it would be crazy malingering crack whores; I don’t know why it’s such a hard thing to help them out with some medical care and pain relief.)

It’s so heartening to go to a doctor and get actual help! And with a nice positive attitude too.

Lying in bed is actually the worst thing for me. It’s depressing, boring, not really that good for your low back, and it hurts me physically — I need to keep as active as possible. SO tomorrow into the fray once more.

If I’m not significantly better by next Monday, the hard bit will be getting to southeast San Jose. I think I can do it, especially with the parking thing, but driving that far might be tough.

The doctor properly admired my awesome duct tape crutch pockets, gratifying my need to see myself as a brave resourceful clever person who is not slayed by a stupid leg that acts like a piece of dead meat.

When I can walk fast again and go bounding up stairs and curbs I’m going to be so appreciative!

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5 Responses to “Sciatica pwned!”

  1. davee



    w00t! That’s awesome!
    (w00t – i hear is a contraction of D&D slang meaning “wow, loot!”)

  2. badgerbag



    Davee, I always thought it was what one says when one finally gets root on a machine (whether by legal or by tricky means).

  3. Claudia Snowden (kokopelliwoman)



    Gee, girl, I didn’t realize you were so hung up orthopedically. That’s awful. I know the bitch that is structural damage too well, so I’m feeling for you.;)
    Many the time I wish I’d had your handy-dandy crutch pockets, esp. when I was in grad school, loaded down with books, flute (& sometimes oboe or sax), music, and various assorted sundries in a back pack. But then what do you do for a drink? A cooking utensil? You seem to have addressed that horribly ridiculous dead end when you grab for the kid’s cereal bowl tipping off the table and find yourself on your ass!
    Wishing you a super speedy recovery!
    P.S. Don’t let Moomin play with your crutches in the same room you are in. My kid did, and promptly dropped one of them on my recently broken/surgured knee 2 days after said operation. Hurt much worse than the surgery, & scared her half to death with the blue language I let rip.;)

  4. badgerbag



    I used to let the kids next door race down this steep curving hill in my 2 wheelchairs. In retrospect this was asinine and horribly dangerous since it was a ROAD.
    I don’t need the wheelchairs anymore, it was a long time ago 8-) Water bottles and travel mugs for hot drinks. What I can’t do is bend over to pick anything up off the floor, or take laundry out or put it in.
    Rook is being super heroic and doing everything. The best part is hearing him have fun with Moomin and pay attention to him. I am short on patience at the moment. And because he’s so good at it all I have the reassurance that Moomin is being properly cared for and loved so I don’t have to feel guilty and bad and inadequate on top of feeling sick and needing help myself. Rook is awesome.

  5. Prentiss Riddle



    So glad to hear you’re getting good care, good support, and yet another creative outlet in the bargain.
    I can’t wait for you to need trifocals so you’ll invent the perfect solution to my (so far, knock on wood) one little nagging body-entropy issue.

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