Archive for July, 2007

Bad attitude moment, and HP without spoilers


BlogHer 2007
Originally uploaded by Liz.

I love this photo soooo much. I swear, it heals my soul just to contemplate it.

I had a fantastic time at the conference!

I did get in touch with my anger… travel in wheelchair can be really annoying and humiliating. I’m thankful for my sense of humor & my resilience that means I can feel like this one minute, and then the next, reenact it to make myself laugh!

Worst moment was in the airport dealing with some dumbasses and I was so tired and hurting that I could not look at or talk with anyone anymore. I just thought darkly, and angrily, “I will not cry. I will not cry. Fuck this. NOT CRY.” But then… THERE WAS THE HARRY POTTER BOOK in the airport bookstore! and I got a free tote bag with it that has the book cover on it, which was cool. NO SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. I finished the book with half an hour to spare as we began our descent into San Francisco! And zond-7 made me cheer up in the Denver airport by texting me funny fake harry potter spells… and cheerily met me in SF. I usually like to whisk quickly out of an airport and do not care about fuss or being met. But it was still nice to be met! And to have someone do all the heavy lifting for me without it being intrusive or embarrassing, but instead, just okay and normal. Rook and Zond-7 and I hung out until way too late, gossiping. Rook has had a very funny trolling by the rpgpundit on Blue Rose; I read only a little bit of it but will catch up later in the week.

So about Harry Potter 7. NO SPOILERS ARE INCLUDED HERE. The book rocked. There were scenes that made me cry the good way, with sentiment, a particular moment in a forest where a person was accompanied by others on a task and it was all about being brave… and war. All very moving. And then the sustained pace of the ending scenes really blew me away!

I kind of was disappointed that a certain character didn’t end up with a certain other character or at least even have a moment of actual dating with them, and thought that certain character kind of got the shaft! I need to go write some fanfic now.

As I predicted, the *THINGIE* subplot became important though it was ignored and mocked a bit in other books. But of course it was part of the whole point.

So I passionately liked books 6 and 7 as they got darker and more complicated politically. And I hope people see that what I have said is true and the earlier simplicities are for a reason; especially the Establishment and Authority and suchlike.

I think that 10 or 15 years from now someone will do the movies RIGHT and put in everything.

BY the way… everyone go sign up for BarCampBlock! It’s coming up soon and it’ll be a blast. If you like the BlogHer unconference I think you’ll like BarCamp!

Related posts




Blogher unconference!

Sunday. man i stayed up too late

diversity discussion – i peeked in – i mentioned ezster’s research

relationship/bloging one Liz Rizzo Melina from ellinetha, liza leif, veronique christensen, Aliza Sherman of babyfruit, me – LJ and intimacy gradients. “you know like an intimacy gradient that is like a foyer, and then as you go in the house the spaces become intimate.” Liza Lief: “while blogging is often you open the door and there’s a VAGINA.” Melina: Livejournal is more like the teenage girls’ bedroom in the back of the house where there’s a slumber party going on.” liz r. everydaygoddess tells about relationships and family.

People wondering why would you DO this. being an open book anyway. as we have been all our lives. and just putting it out there. blogging the tool we were waiting for.

danah boyd article on class and myspace/facebook is brought up without people knowing her name about having a vague impression of the article.

faye anderson – use it, edit it
betsy samuels – it’s all up at the wiki
elana centor – wikiphboa. scared to edit. looks useful for clients.
amy gahran – use wikis for project management and want to do it more. trying to find best tool for absolute beginner. soceity for environemental journalism.
kate – once edites something on wikipedia times the song “we shall overcome” has been used. they forgot mexican american civil rights movement! so i had to edit it. you click edit typed it in. it showed up on the page and i was shocked. BUT… that said i’ve tried… where do you go to start a wiki.

amy – the docs for these tools sucks.
i can do most tech and wiki – i don’t get. someone i konw beth darges.
beth kanter – poweruser. also teaching people what wikis are.

shared doc rather than wiki

list of tools and wikis

wiki – structuring!
roles!
extensible.

what out of this discussion made it click for you?

***
social media lunch

“how much time do you spend in second life?”
“a lot”
“i stil dont know how to put my clothes on”
“you cna take classes at the free university”
“I make enough to pay for it at my store”
“you should talk to anna herzog”

**
2 more hours of wiki-ing!
we edit blogher’s wikipedia entry a bit
we try tiddlywiki, mediawiki, socialtext, pbwiki
codepink, allaccess, other projects, wiki project management

AAAAAAAAH I just realized I am talking to HEROINE CONTENT
fangirl moment omg omg omg

***

3pm retrospective on open space / unconference! all sitting in big circle of chairs.

many people say they were skeptical and almost didn’t come
and they came and found it was their favorite day of the conference!
intimate, more one on one personal , more in depth information, generosity, sharing of experience, learning environment, this type of thing being attuned to our personalities, smaller groups, absolute joy, making real connections, good tips in main conference, leads to information, but today was about focus. loving things unstructured. dont’ lke things in structure but wander off from them. conversation on one topic but went off on another topic, include the entire conference in it, bravo to all the organizers. i am so happy tere was today! because it is non hierarchical, organic, how women organize, whole conference wonderful, got information, but big conference i was afraid of, growing, gettinb big, i’m an outsider, haven’t already been in the networks. male, linear structure, session one two etc. Today was organized the way women organized. and i have a wiki now. arizona has a wiki now! yes, more relaxing, the synthesis is built in. retrospective, conversations deeper, big conference will take 2 weeks to process. i will stop beating myself up (self censorship) should keep this keep going next year. keep it at the end, or do it in parallel. kaliya keeps it on track, everyone go around. this is one of my favorite htings about college, was the conversations in the dining halls. people from all different fields and majors bringing things to the table in a genuinely noncompetitive way. will be processing that for weeks and building on it. but this was wonderful to have some extended conversations with people, which is hard to do without feeling that you’re missing something during the more structured time. so this moves that kind of conversation fromt he margins to the center! (that was e. perry who fucking rocks!) lauriewrites: liveblogging was great but draining, today i got to talk with women about their stories and what they say and don’t say. i’ve never had a bad time at anything involving this organization. i feel really good and it’ll send me home feeling really good and positive. No competition, i loved about today it gave me the opportunity to get everything i wanted to get out of this conference. i came a long way. i asked specific questions and got them answers. i loved the quiet of today. i love that i continued conversations i had over the last 2 days and begun new convs that will continue over the next year. i love that i now have a notebook filled with practical stuff that i can work on when i got home. more specific to what i wanted than the main conference though the main conf was fantastic. ditto to everything. overwhelming how generous evrone i spoke to was wiht their knowledgge, history, stories, i’m all choked up. i learned a lot. i feel like an SEO goddess now. explained in a group setting in a way that was actionable and easy to digest thank you. i enjoyed people that think wikis and blogs are fun and that it’s not always technical, it’s fun. you can sprout out ideas and all the connections. i’m sitting in on the closing ceremonies but haven’t been to the main event, i did attend it second life yesterday and started new things… and got to know people in t here. and i’m impressed your’e finiishing with this nice circle. i was totally bummed out i missed all this today! the conference was wonderufl and energizing but draining and intense. and i’m aware instantly of how valueable this kind of space is! wish i hadn’t been so exhausted tired. kaliya: i had two conversations that were really powerful. good strategizing connection with Liza – importance of leadership. thinking of strategy around it. other, about women in tech. i’m really excitied! the registration’s actually there now and i’m working on She’s Geeky for women in tech. 100% women. women who are linux hackers to serious bloggers who are making their css work etc. not about coding but is about engagement with technology. diverse age range. those things are alive for me. making connections to do stuff in the world.

http://shesgeeky.org/

kaliya – scales up, peopel do this for 2000 people.
liz – scales down too. go home and do this in your living room with 10 people and you will have just as much fun.

mine old content and link it to something i’m doing now. remind me where i’ve been, where i’m at now

tara h: kate from the WIP there was no competition, measurement, really-big-blog, everyone on the same level. who wants to talk to scoble. that was so missing!

(I have to say that i have heard more people make fun of robertscoble-worship… hahahah this weekend! no one meant it meanly. but as an iconic “A-list blogger guy who all the guys think is important but no one here cares about or reads and wonders what’s the deal?” )

more talk about connections.

elisa – why not having this as a parallel track? people have been asking.
kaliya – on open space organizers list, people all say it doesn’t work well because people stick with what’s described already. it detracts from the energy.
(more discussion)
kaliya – also hard to go from open to structured. you’re so open and so free and then you can’t adjust. so it is better to end.

spa day unconference to start!
nancy says codepink had a spa day conference!
pedicures and wikis!

debriefing has been very important
it’s like retrospectives in agile – we need to debrief and process and not be alone to do that with. if you come to the conference alone you can’t deal.

being new, alone, tired, whirlwind pace of conference, overwhelming. hard!

Related posts




Blogher unconference!

Sunday. man i stayed up too late

diversity discussion – i peeked in – i mentioned ezster’s research

relationship/bloging one Liz Rizzo Melina from ellinetha, liza leif, veronique christensen, Aliza Sherman of babyfruit, me – LJ and intimacy gradients. “you know like an intimacy gradient that is like a foyer, and then as you go in the house the spaces become intimate.” Liza Lief: “while blogging is often you open the door and there’s a VAGINA.” Melina: Livejournal is more like the teenage girls’ bedroom in the back of the house where there’s a slumber party going on.” liz r. everydaygoddess tells about relationships and family.

People wondering why would you DO this. being an open book anyway. as we have been all our lives. and just putting it out there. blogging the tool we were waiting for.

danah boyd article on class and myspace/facebook is brought up without people knowing her name about having a vague impression of the article.

faye anderson – use it, edit it
betsy samuels – it’s all up at the wiki
elana centor – wikiphboa. scared to edit. looks useful for clients.
amy gahran – use wikis for project management and want to do it more. trying to find best tool for absolute beginner. soceity for environemental journalism.
kate – once edites something on wikipedia times the song “we shall overcome” has been used. they forgot mexican american civil rights movement! so i had to edit it. you click edit typed it in. it showed up on the page and i was shocked. BUT… that said i’ve tried… where do you go to start a wiki.

amy – the docs for these tools sucks.
i can do most tech and wiki – i don’t get. someone i konw beth darges.
beth kanter – poweruser. also teaching people what wikis are.

shared doc rather than wiki

wiki – structuring!
roles!
extensible.

what out of this discussion made it click for you?

Related posts




BlogHer notes, Saturday

Keynote with Annalee, Esther, Rashmi, and Elisa moderating

women worldwide blogging – georgia from global voices
70% US internet penetration trinidad/tobago X% india 4% often blogging in english b/c india has so many regional languages.

snigdh – talking about india and etc.

juliana – kenya – high literacy rate – net penetration 3% . kenyan blogs webring. started by a person who every time he started looking for kenyan blogs he found tourist blogs. now are 460+ bloggers in the webring. Kenyanpundit.com Mzalendo. She put together a political watchdog site with free open source software. wordpress plus database for all the bills, qustions from constituents, politicians come on and answer the questions. very powerful. and she could do this because of open source software!

Lisa Williams asks if traditional media follow it. Juliana says not so much. they are aware of it but they don’t follow. no specific stories about constituencies. the media is a bit slow to understand what it is. they would do well to pay better attention and see all the information and (what people care about) Citizen volunteers go and attend parliamentary sessions.

Amira from GV – baharainigirl – heheheh I love how she oepend by saying “who knows where bahrain is”. Self-censorship. respect authority, elders, culture, rule of law however corrupted it is. you dont want to end up in jail or be a dissident or be sent into exile. you’re better off just keeping quiet. that’s why i started blogging anonymously.
http://sillybahrainigirl.blogspot.com/
What ti’s like to be a blogger dissident. people put up a little banner… free whoever… every day there is a new story…. but we don’t know what happened to them . we’re on the rain.

lisa: so are you still anonymous?

amira : no… but i do self-censor. i dont call any names or say anything…. what good would it do me to end up in jail?

amy gahran – book about Iran – independent comunications – fax machines and cassette tapes – wherever there is not a tradition of free media – then blogging and etc. have more power than they seem to have in a more open media culture.

amira – in canada i could find only cel phones that are from 10 years ago and in bahrain they are amazing — we are years ahead of you in technology … We have technology what we dont ahve is access to information. what we don’t have is freedom to transmit this information. what we dont have is freedom of choice or freedom of speech in a way that when you stand up to say something you have this fear, will my father or mother get punished? we don’t want to do that to our families.

georgia – in trini radio is very powerful, local media. across borders the power (of new tech) is really felt. cell phones spread fast in south africa for example because the infrastructure of other phones wasn’t htere. the western hemisphere has that infrastructure so new stuff has less pressure to spread.

snigdh – more on self censorship. and men being first to get the technology. if there’s one computer at home it’s like, the man is using it. access, computers cheaper, that’s important. women need to have other things on their mind, making t hemselves independent, jobs, educate children. blogging is still a luxury for a lot of people.

georgia – rural women?

snigdh – here’s the fun part. rural women taking to tech faster than the men. a reason behind this, if you want to bring about any change, you have to target the women. they are more focused, disciplined, want the change to happen. if they educate themselves they educate themselves. they dont usually blow all the resources on liquor and all that. the rural banks lend money only to women… 80% of the internet kiosks and cybercafes in rural india are run by women who will get up at 6:30 am and go to work and be there and keep it open.

kimberly (kane) sophiawwc.org women’s consortium working with the UN global conference etc. our commitment is … uhhhh i am lost. a convergence of the women of the world… gather the communicators of the world. radio, etc is a huge part of it.

I cannot tell if this woman is for realz or is a bit bonkers.

I’m a bit stunned by her being like “CAN YOU TEACH US OH DIVERSE WOMEN while I have this diversity in front of me” . what, like right now this minute? did she now have any knowledge of who to ask before right now…? http://sophiawwc.org/

Juliana – Send iphones. Sidekicks. they are perfect for Africa nad developing world. wireless ahs a much greater footprint in the developing world. etc. think of using gprs enabled devices.

“well while you are here in front of me i just want to know … and you know Hugh and i just realized you are not at the table so why is that and you should be at the table and … Now you are.”

er thanks?

WTF WTF

I open my big mouth to say “probably you should go look for bloggers in various countries and invite them to participate.” i am a bit incredulous but on the other hand this is how rich people operate i guess.

amira – don’t ask the government, ask the bloggers individually.

snigdh – the first barrier you are going to face is language. hindi doesnt help that is just the north really and if you want the solar tech and all that you will need a point person to translate b/c there will be a local language. you want to reach out to women making a difference in their villlages you will need help… they relaly know how the villages work. they have networks who take their business and communicate…. hugely helpful. i would love to say go to the blogs but i am not confident the women blogging are the women you want to engage. they already have a lot of access and know english and are urban etc. education and means. if you are looking at microchanges then, language will be important.

woman from audience talks about her trip to south afrrica for a wedding, but, she talked to every waitress, room maid in hotel, everyone she met, and she got their emails, they are refugees from all over africa, they had such smart well informed political opinions, i told them all about blogs, they said thank you this could give me my freedom of speech, i said you have it already. we email and they are so busy and work and school… maybe at blogher we should just go overseas and (do blog evangelism) I want to be part of the solution but I need direction. I dont know what to do or say with it.

Juliana – maybe we should go back a little bit. peopel talk about poverty in africa etc. we want to let you know there is a lot of growth. there is expertise within africa…. there is linuxchix africa.

beth kanter and liz: YAY linuxchix!

Juliana: african speakers talking about how to change africa. african solutions for african problems. If you want to help africans, partner or work parallel with africans. support their ideas. trade, trade, trade. money and capital in the hands of women has a very transformative power. your specific question about how to support the women you met… get them to organize regionally. afrigator.com, browse, select specific country. you can see what bloggers are saying in that country. they could join that country.

Victoria from Now public. posting on a site like now public? citizen journalism aspect? more comfortable there or writing it in a newspaper? than in a radio?

georgia: you mean that question for the panelists?

amira – it’s a question of balancing. a positive thing and then exposing the truth and suck up a little bit and hit them again. it depends when i did my latest stunt. am i safe to pull another stunt just now or…?

WOW… Afrigator totally rocks!!!

Questions from Beth Kanter, etc

Good answers from Snighdh . how to help. Read stuff from other countries! Comment, say where you are from. Link to them. The government, media, pay attention. Govt is wary because now they know people are looking.

person behind me from The WIP.net Provide the platform. Safety. etc.

me: have you talked with the EFF… *card and url exchange*

snigdh — rural areas are hardest and also language barriers…. video is good for that.

kristine fromm google – it’s hard to hear these stories without coming to conferences like this… when i tell my company what i learned from blogher – what do you want them to hear?

Free consulting rooolz! maybe google shoudl HIRE some diverse women from all over the world to tell them some of these things!

juliana: tools incredible, get them too more people blogging, getting more people blogging. bloggers conference for women, an outreach program. funding. fund us in africa.

amira – Not to bend to pressure from governments!

snigdh – google blocked a lady’s site about childbirth because it was deemed a porn site in india – what’s the point if they block. languages, gadgets, wikis, widgets, anything, get more people blogging in their own languages.

georgia – localization. don’t cave in to government. tools. funding for our projects.

juliana – support african business, startups, innovative women working in that space. twitter-like tools for mobile, for election monitoring. more support for the ideas we already have.

snigdh – text messages like crazy. cell phone texting is huge.

***
lunch w annalee needed her as sort of refuge as she is relaxing to be with

silenced voices panel went okay i think!

then i stumbled into the unbloggable panel. i wish that guy had not walked in and stayed. i did not have a lot of trust there. even if he is someone’s partner in the group. it is a women’s blogging conference and a confidential panel. and on a topic that it is problematic for men to be there. I suggested he leave. s. said he needed to speak personally. but him just being there made the conversation change and be more defensive and closed. and the fact that he had no sensitivity or diffidence towards it being problematic for him to be there meant i especially didn’t want him there. instead, some women left. and that is what happens. I stayed and it was still good.

***
hanging int he woolfcamp corner with deb roby, jenijen, sarah d! HI GRACE WE MISS YOU!!!!! We miss you lots.

***

elizabeth edwards talking about universal health care, civil rights/marriage for queers, education. it’s so awesome when she uses an actual technical or internetty term. hahahha!

man there’s like 100 people here that I know that i still haven’t talked with even to say hi…

Related posts




Minor annoyance with inaccessibility

It was a good day full of amazingness and bloghery solidarity and being overwhelmed and meeting people!

And I’ll blog all the good parts later!

I’m too tired to be anything other than a little whiny at the moment, though.

I got frustrated with access. Chicago downtown really sucks for disability access ! every building seems to be full of those really crappy special lift things. And people don’t leave them ON… for no reason.

For example in San Francisco in the building where Citizen Space is they have a crappy old lift. But it’s fine! you go in it! you close the door! you push a button and go up! you open the door. it is not hard.

Well in this downtown all the damn buildings have lifts with keys. or elevators that are turned off. Or I end up in the freight elevator somewhere after 3 managers are consulted. anyway I got pretty fed up tonight. But not enough to want to get mad. Beth was a bit over the top with her videocamera in my face… and getting mad on my behalf. I can get mad on my own if I want…

on the way down out of the children’s museum the elevator was off and then the other elevator was off and then we were led to the freight elevator which kept not coming and people were fussing. Finally it came, but was full of guys and freight (fancy that!) and they were saying just wait …. but i would not. So I stuck my foot in the closing elevator door… and shoved in. screw it! i wanted out!

I get so soul-tired of feeling like i’m the only person with a disability they’ve ever encountered before… and they just dont’ know what to do and are all confused.

also annoyed at the chick who jumped out of the way in the bathroom and was overapologizing at being in the bathroom stall. OH I”M SO SORRY ETC ETC OMG HOW COULD I HAVE! I was like “dude it’s okay… i can wait 30 seconds for the bathroom stall in line like everyone else. no problem.” she would not let it die. “NO… really… you get to use the bathroom.. there are 800 people here and only a few bathrooms and only one wheelchair. Use the handicapped stall, go right ahead”

and then 10 min later she found me and went into it even more about how the Reason she should know better is that her son is paraplegic. “Well… okay… whatever…. but i’m telling you i didnt mind, i don’t care, you can feel free to pee in there… no guilt… also it is no big deal.” “No… i have to disagree with you. my son can’t wait sometimes and is … leaky… ” (on and on)

Depressing! I actually wondered if she was insane and had made up all that stuff about her son. She was certainly insane to push this weird conversation onto me.

Then….

I didn’t want a fuss in the sushi restaurant, i wanted to eat… and to not have the restaurant people mad at me. and, again, to have No Fuss.

Thankfully after we all started drinking sake everything felt more normal and there was delicious food.
I did like the guy in the sushi restaurant — on my way out a very nice waiter came out with me as I was leaving alone — and the security guard for the building was not there and the elevator did not work of course — I yelled “FUCK YOU” up the stairs. the nice waiter stood next to me and shook his fist and yelled “fuck you” up the stairs too. then we kind of started giggling. that was super nice.

I went up the stairs again and chris c. carried my chair up. i do not like to have to limp around and haul myself painfully up from the chair with a restaurant full of people looking at me. rather than wheeling in all sparkly.

Annoyingly in the elevator earlier tonight I was in there with someone who actually tilted her head to the side and gave me THE LOOK as described by Katherine on the silenced voices panel…. the pitying shocked look…. and said something like “Poor you!” Come on, bloggy lady! I am dressed in my finest clothes… in a suit… and with kick ass mohawk and lights on my wheels in a fancy hotel…. several hundred bloggers rather like me… random mommybloggers sit in my lap and make out with me and sigh… In other words, there could be no reason for your drab, cloying, mundane pity, strange elevator lady.

Plus I just hit my limit.

Plus I got really tired going the “two blocks” from the pier to the hotel which was more like 12, and physically did me in.

It was all fine and I am fine with going on stairs when I have to… since I can. But the repeated annoyance and exhaustion today got to me. I’m up too late… and I’m homesick.

Chicago sucks and I am ready to go back to California. where maybe the seismic retrofitting of the buildings means that they get rebuilt to comply with the ADA.

OH also we are up to three (3) people who asked me if i was going to die. (Not like right now or anything!) “But is it degenerative?”

God, people can be dumbasses.

I had fun with beth, barb, and marshall and then the other sushi crowd. and the cocktail party was fun… i talked to a zillion people… it was unsatisfying to just sort of “see” nice people like woolgathering (eliz. perry) and not really have a deep conversation. but at dinner we got to really talk which was super nice.

Happily am now in hotel room with SJ and Shauna and their witty comments and mutual computeryness.

Related posts




BlogHer notes, Saturday

Keynote with Annalee, Esther, Rashmi, and Elisa moderating

women worldwide blogging – georgia from global voices
70% US internet penetration trinidad/tobago X% india 4% often blogging in english b/c india has so many regional languages.

snigd

juliana – kenya – high literacy rate – net penetration 3% . kenyan blogs webring. started by a person who every time he started looking for kenyan blogs he found tourist blogs. now are 460+ bloggers in the webring.

Related posts




Blogher notes, Friday, rambly ongoing

prepping more for my panel, still in pajamas, having encountered funny woman in elevator with shrill voice going “i was voted SECOND WORST PERSON to run into in the morning in college” I hereby promote her. lady i’m trapped in the elevator with you with no coffee, shut up! everyone shuddddup!!!! coffee fairy!!! oohhhhhh am too stingy to pay 16 bucks for delivery up to room serves me right! am in bed eating the cookies i stole outta the Wave wrapped in a napkin last night.

oh also i just realized why deb knew the deal with me when i started to go all dreamy and babbly and she busted out her “OH YOU MEAN ABOUT D.” uh yeah but how did you know, lady? I just realized how she might very well. well um damn! speed of light internet gossip small world.

shauna cracked me up this morning by saying scottishly it was sweatier than a hoor’s fanny and SJ’s look of total noncomprehension until we footnoted it that that was WHORE’S (fanny= “front butt”). “Oh! I thought you said horse fanny!” No! But why do I understand the scottishness? its not like reading Kidnapped 800milliontimes as a child should prepare me for “hooor”.

okay back to panel prep and my outline of questions etc.

soon, clothing. and I will continue to just update this one entry through the day till it gets too huge to live.

***
hanging with denise t, beth kanter, dave coustan, hi to marshall k,

***
identity/naked/journaling panel.

going through things, horrible things, can be comforting to think “oh well this will be funny to write about.”

self-constructed narrative. getting to tell your own story . horrible parenting books that give very controlling stories. i’m writing my own damn story.

Sarcastic Journalist got fired in 2004 from her job for her anonymous no-photo no-location blog. she was 8 months pregnant. her family has been reading it and they disowned her as a result. that’s not public (it is now.) it’s not fun. it can happen. it will happen. you are not really anonymous. i found my cousin’s sex blog. i said my sister’s child deserved to wear a muzzle, now i don’t get to go to christmas. it’s the real world. once you talk on your blog you’re still going to have to deal wiht people.

audience member: times when i am thinking “i wish i could stab this person with a damn pencil” but i just blog “today was a hard day” and i’m glossing over it. which is sad.

laurie toby edison makes the point that we’re making ART which is why we’re selecting. if you think of it that way it’s interesting. stories and bodies. the true story of what happened now gets told. that’s amazing. i don’t think that’s ever happened before.

susan mernit is about to talk

I’m thinking: our personal honesty about our lives as women is politically important, and it is unstoppable as a mass movement. no matter what the individual consequences are for some of us in our personal lives or careers. (said, twittered.)

People are saying they are so sad we can’t be honest about this kind of thing.

Yes we CAN be honest about it… and many of us are… and every time you (bloggers) are, give yourself a little pat on the back because you are fucking part of this historical moment of public, visible honesty.

***
Heather is cracking me up as she says how people always assume she’s white because she’s named HEATHER. heh! and then how people expect young black women to be, and it’s not her, and how odd that is.

more about stereotypes.

ppl in audience need to STFU and listen to the panelists instead of whispering all the time. USE CHAT, people!

mochamomma talks about journals as art. the racial conversations always have a stopping point. poeple go hmmm now talk about something else. YOU KNOW WHAT IF YOU’RE going to KEEP CALLING ME EXOTIC, i’m going to keep talking about RACE.

OHhhh i have a new crush on mochamomma.

rachel. truth. for those of you who are courageous enough to write your truth. i appreciate it. thanks. the more brave you are the more empowered all of us will be.

“Maybe if you are making someone uncomfrotable you NEED to be writing it. maybe that means it’s important to be honest and get it out there.”
(I’m not sure who was just talking, but it was interesting.)

Matt miller maybebaby, blog with his wife about trying to get pregnant. i get myself in a lot of trouble b/c people don’t think ihave a right to be talking about parenthood or trying to conceive. stereotypes. to me that’s the most important hting that i do. i dont keep anyhting personal in my blog, my whole office knows i have to ice my testicles. i’m closer now to people than iv’ve ever been. (The entire audience applauds. Let’s think about that. we did not applaud any of the women who spoke. is it so necessary for us to specially praise our male allies in this way? why is it? a nice comment but, is this guy somehow more brave to speak in women’s space than women are to speak in mens or for us to even HAVE women’s space? would guys go out of theier way to make women so appreciated feeling in male dominated space? (NO… instead they harass the shit out of you and expect you to smile and thank them.) )

someone says “if my parents act like idiots and jerks I get to write about it. I get to say it. if they don’t like it they can stop acting like idiots and jerks.”

ha!

Mary Tsao points out sometimes she confesses personal detials in public, to everyone. but then she gets personal confessions one on one from people, which is different. and more intimate than she really wants.

***
Mur talking sf
Powers – comic book – very astro cityish – read it!
her daughter dressed as pink tornado! dcute!
issue of swamp thing “The curse” v interesting

***
lunch digital ethnorati
talked with laina talked with kathryn in prep for panel at 2:45

talking about shwag and how funny it is. the towels… good size for fuck towels! electrolicious was like “they should be all red and brown and mottled!” hahahaha!

***
“safe space” panel. lynne d johnson susie bright and others

susie: concept of safe space from feminist movements, used as weapon to shut people down

sj asks from the audience what does bullying mean to you how do you define that
susie – being erased, by misogynist comments that are not relevant

annalee: what susie’s saying is so important and cool*
me: as usual!

Tara Hunt : “insidious danger of danger” post. getting emails from people … kathy sierra situation. Tara wrote a post about finding your higher purpose. group of bloggers that hates anything that smacks of self help. nazis… godwins law… i deleted comments and called them meankids. they started a blog called that with phtoshopped pics of me and i went to them and said you’re giving me more attention than i deserve, i’m flattered, you spent a lot fo time photoshoping me. Kathy went on there to defend me and said dont pick on tara. they turned to her and it escalated. photo of her with a noose beside her head. the only thing she’s fit for is a noose in her neck size. then about maryam scoble, said terrible things about her. somone (well, frank p actually i think) took that blog down and came to their senses. then bobsyouruncle started. it was truly awful sexist gross things. women, snails slugs etc. kathy with underwear over her head suffocating her. kathy then said that’s it, i cant go to these conferences any more, i can’t take it. meanwhile anonymous commmenters on her blog were saying i want to cut off your head and … (Tara continues to tell this story… Kathy posted… shredded other characters meantime which was not helpful but, that started the whole thing)

audicene: her name and social security number and home address, were then posted online. hostpiatl visits, personal finances, everyting he could find, and posted it.

(I Want to know who that was that posted that stuff.)

People are talking stories of their actual online/person stalkers. It worked well to ask planned parenthood, as they know how to deal, you hire a security consultant. and they take care of it, they go talk to the guy. and that works well…When the police won’t help.

Whether you believe there’s a danger or not… varying levels… what is your personal threshhold…

Susie – talking about strict but gracious comment policy on blog… feminine tendency was “maybe that person doesn’t MEAN to be obscene and gross and insulting… should i treat them like a troll? maybe not?” Now it’s more like “NO. not at all.” they thrive on attention. cut off the attention and they wither. my first stalking and assassintation threats were offline. u of minnesota to give a talk about women and sexual self expression, people pased out flyers, first t here was slavery in the roman empire, then the holocause, then susie bright. there was a girl in the bathroom with a knife, we just shamed her. i was 8 months pregnant. i was a real woman, it was absurd, she was like a child, she had a cause, she believed i was the enemy. that was wild. there’s always that little chance. but there’s always that little chance about life. i dont regret anythign about my activism. if you know me you know i get upset about things, i cry, etc. BUT I WON’T STOP.

Tara: molly holzschlag, …

Lynne: I put it out there and i’m a senior editor at fastcompany. it’s a strength.

Tara: i think it’s a sign of strength to say fuck you that’s who i am, deal with it.

susie: we hear about powerful men who go away for rehab. etc. and it doesn’t hurt THEM. and we certainly hear they sleep around. and it doesn’t hurt them either. but if we admit anything personal …

audience member: all this personal criticism, it taught me a lot. now in professional life it’s like NOTHING. people are like “did the negative reviews of your book bother you? and i’m like NO… no one called my mom a dyke! it was a walk in the park! this is a silver lining amongst the hate. i have toughened up.

post partum dpresssion blogger saying i dont give a crap… you would nt want to be with those people anyway… it’s notgoing to work. you have to have a sense of humor. article in newsweek quoting me on post partum depression, just felt like put a copy on all my neighbors’ doorstesp with a note like PS, I love to babysit! (laughter applause from audience.)

simply hired guy goes on and on for a long time a fine point, just very long and rambly

susie – motivation of people who want to shut you down sometimes is intense jealousy. i dont know how to deal at times.

audience member – i think not jealousy it’s boredom. on maya’s mom it is boredom. ignore and they will go away.

lynne – agrees ignore them sometimes works

audience – story about life as a writer and activist. tried not to offend traditional catholic family. then invented a character who had my name. looooooonnnnnng story of when it happened to me catholics hate mail etc. wishing my mother had aborted me. i posted all the hate mail on my blog with comments and theological critique and annotation. adn then i got all these hits and it was like the best thing that happened to my career. so they realized it was really good for me. and now i dont fear anything and i take comments on my blog.

annalee – i blog for wired and pop sci and other geeky places like that. a cautionary note. hunting for a job at same time as opinionated story. a quick anonymized story. incredibly over qualified person for the job. everyone loved her resume. etc. then they looked at her personal blogs and one person in particular objected and felt she was too opnionated. and we went on to hire someone who SUCKED. and the first person went on to get a better job anyway. but it can bite you in the ass to be opinionated. and it came out okay for her. but for 90 other women it might not have come out okay. There is risk.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

panelist: for anyone who does blog they SHOULDd know they are not really anonymous. they should keep that risk in mind.

SJ: i’m I asshole. these bitches in the PTA… i have moveable type, i can edit my comments. i can make them say “i’m going home right now to fuck puppies.” wtf. *applause laughter*

comment from audience: virginia woolf kill angel on your shoulder.

susie: being brave, etc. not always brave

tara: inner gollum. make peace with my inner gollum! job issue. didn’t mean to be flippant about it… my dream is that everyone is able to act really human and open and stop putting up these facads…we all have broken wing days… we live in this world that says we’re not allowed to talk about these things. but everyone feels that way at some point.

susie – if you’re 19 and your’ blogging! how many people can i be…. etc. you get to try that out! (you are not always the same person)

****

intolerance intervention panel

Went well, was fun, laina and kathryn and tish were awesome, coherent, fascinating!!! audience talked interestingly too!

***

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Blogher notes, Thursday: speakers and moderators

went off to sushi with karen rani, erin kv + appendage, kimberly. oyster shots with quail eggs rule! they were so flirty and obnoxious! and they keep coming up to me and whispering “buffet” referring to the obnoxious things I said about hitting on drunken mommybloggers. “they’re the best! just dress butchy, and go in a party and complain loudly that bi-curious married wimminz don’t get laid enough and see what happens!” nooo i did not just say that… it was totally a joke, people! they boasted to me of their tit-showing on the internet I think to make the world safe for breastfeeding. clearlyi must go stalk them on flickr esp. because trollbaby is teh hotness.

then had coffee with annalee and i had to do work things for work, suddenly. just like at WisCon it is soothing to go off with annalee. so i showed up late to the speaker/moderator stuff in the city centre basement. where there was no wifi and they keep the wheelchair lift LOCKED just like in the sushi restaurant and the W bar! All of which places I got steely and bitchy and said it is against the law, unlck that thing and let me use it to go to the bathroom without 4 managers coming to do keys and lights and move some boxes… fuckers!

Jory notes that everyone is press here. Lisa adds everyone should expect to be blogged … can ask for anonymity but might not get it.

lisa talking about the cod of conduct, codslapping. when people sabotage a panel… respect…. whispering too much or giggling… backbenchers. interrupting, dominating, personal attacks. call it out… ask people to not do it… stop and say let’s talk more about X, etc. make it go how you want it to go.

I note to myself that in women’s groups in general and certainly here we need extra validation and permission and reassurance… for things that a group of guys assume as basic normal things. That need for extra consensus building and reassurance, itself, needs to be explicitly validated. A crucial thing to keep in mind for women and tech and online participation.

i suggested a minor point i learned from watching debbie notkin moderate at potlatch. it works quite well to pick out the next 3 people in audience and point them out and assure them you see them and they will talk next, and that after they all speak you will look again for more participants.

lisa – brutal adherence to the clock. appoint someone your nag.

don’t be afraid to interrupt.

I forgot this is being podcasted etc. so it is important to say “hi i’m badgerbag from blahdeblah” before asking a question into the mike.

I mention a bit of practice shutting down hijackers and blowhards and that i am here to hear and speak with other women…. Practice is key.

Elisa sherman mentions again how important it is to introduce yourself before you speak, every time! (I had forgotten again. And so did Elisa.)

more about shutting down…. remember the other people in the room. think of teachers. balance with other people in the room. Everyone in the room can steer the discussion or can shut down a loud person.

squarespace person, “that’s an excellent point”

photos with a zillion Lizzes… more photos… bitchy evasions of people asking me why the wheelchair… i am testy about it and refuse to answer most of the time…

contributing editor meeting in which we stood in a circle and held hands… i argued with elise b. who is a food blogger… no i do not think the most important thing for us to htink about is to be supportive of the men here because they might feel unwelcome… ffs… oh noes what about the menz…

cocktail party that was lame
cocktail party that was fancy and fun up on hte 33rd floor at which a drunken mommyblogger who shall remain nameless made out with me a little bit (again! i could not help it… she is a sweet kisser… what happens at blogher (stays at blogher) goes on my flickr…

party and dinner downstairs with a zillion fun bloggers! deb roby, v. from umm i will look up her blog name later and sj and suzanne lynne d. and maria and steph who does blog consulting and lauriewrites and i cannot rmeember everyone’s names… and some guy who i did not know… ate duck, goat cheese, frisee , pasta with lemon and tomatoes in it and juniper. hmmm juniper! tasty! Lynne d teasing the fuck out of me for when she asked me about the chair and i went “I was BORN”. ha. man, one chick perfectly nice i’m sure met my evasions with “ohhhhh but I’m SO CURIOUS about what it is like to experience life in a wheelchair???” Okay bitch I’ll just break your legs then! no prob!

sj and shauna are being very funny in bed. we’re staying up too late and talking about everything. i am babbling to them about all my intimate unbloggable details and they return the favor. shauna’s book cover is aweseome and gorgeous but she cant let me take a photo of it yet! seecret!

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while reading the Ramaah book

midnight epiphany while falling asleep reading Lee K. book, the “things are not as they seem” planet sf is about naming the problem, class/gender/race war insights, learning to look at a system rather than taking things individually, political learned thru personal.

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sWanky hotel

jesus fuck this is a swanky hotel. there are fur pillows and ambient soft focus techno music everywhere and sort of an aura of hipsteriness. Shauny is here! and SJ just pinged me from the airplane. i left her a funny message that i was in nirvana where the wimminzzz all have laptops. Ran into kathryn who is on a panel with me and who normally has a floating head, and jen and jen, and others, I will not pretend to really know anyone’s name until we have badges!!!!

me and shauny are being irreverent in the hotel room as we critique many things about life, conferences, she tells me about her diet book that is very wtf have a good body image and love yourself and fat pride even though it’s a diet book, and how she loves fighting and controversy, and what the blogher panels are like, and etc etc.

why is there no motherfucking wifi in the room! why didnt i bring a minihub and a long ethernet cable!

already i am having way too much fun.

soon annalee will get here and we will jet off to the art institute!!!

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