Blogher notes, Friday, rambly ongoing

prepping more for my panel, still in pajamas, having encountered funny woman in elevator with shrill voice going “i was voted SECOND WORST PERSON to run into in the morning in college” I hereby promote her. lady i’m trapped in the elevator with you with no coffee, shut up! everyone shuddddup!!!! coffee fairy!!! oohhhhhh am too stingy to pay 16 bucks for delivery up to room serves me right! am in bed eating the cookies i stole outta the Wave wrapped in a napkin last night.

oh also i just realized why deb knew the deal with me when i started to go all dreamy and babbly and she busted out her “OH YOU MEAN ABOUT D.” uh yeah but how did you know, lady? I just realized how she might very well. well um damn! speed of light internet gossip small world.

shauna cracked me up this morning by saying scottishly it was sweatier than a hoor’s fanny and SJ’s look of total noncomprehension until we footnoted it that that was WHORE’S (fanny= “front butt”). “Oh! I thought you said horse fanny!” No! But why do I understand the scottishness? its not like reading Kidnapped 800milliontimes as a child should prepare me for “hooor”.

okay back to panel prep and my outline of questions etc.

soon, clothing. and I will continue to just update this one entry through the day till it gets too huge to live.

hanging with denise t, beth kanter, dave coustan, hi to marshall k,

identity/naked/journaling panel.

going through things, horrible things, can be comforting to think “oh well this will be funny to write about.”

self-constructed narrative. getting to tell your own story . horrible parenting books that give very controlling stories. i’m writing my own damn story.

Sarcastic Journalist got fired in 2004 from her job for her anonymous no-photo no-location blog. she was 8 months pregnant. her family has been reading it and they disowned her as a result. that’s not public (it is now.) it’s not fun. it can happen. it will happen. you are not really anonymous. i found my cousin’s sex blog. i said my sister’s child deserved to wear a muzzle, now i don’t get to go to christmas. it’s the real world. once you talk on your blog you’re still going to have to deal wiht people.

audience member: times when i am thinking “i wish i could stab this person with a damn pencil” but i just blog “today was a hard day” and i’m glossing over it. which is sad.

laurie toby edison makes the point that we’re making ART which is why we’re selecting. if you think of it that way it’s interesting. stories and bodies. the true story of what happened now gets told. that’s amazing. i don’t think that’s ever happened before.

susan mernit is about to talk

I’m thinking: our personal honesty about our lives as women is politically important, and it is unstoppable as a mass movement. no matter what the individual consequences are for some of us in our personal lives or careers. (said, twittered.)

People are saying they are so sad we can’t be honest about this kind of thing.

Yes we CAN be honest about it… and many of us are… and every time you (bloggers) are, give yourself a little pat on the back because you are fucking part of this historical moment of public, visible honesty.

Heather is cracking me up as she says how people always assume she’s white because she’s named HEATHER. heh! and then how people expect young black women to be, and it’s not her, and how odd that is.

more about stereotypes.

ppl in audience need to STFU and listen to the panelists instead of whispering all the time. USE CHAT, people!

mochamomma talks about journals as art. the racial conversations always have a stopping point. poeple go hmmm now talk about something else. YOU KNOW WHAT IF YOU’RE going to KEEP CALLING ME EXOTIC, i’m going to keep talking about RACE.

OHhhh i have a new crush on mochamomma.

rachel. truth. for those of you who are courageous enough to write your truth. i appreciate it. thanks. the more brave you are the more empowered all of us will be.

“Maybe if you are making someone uncomfrotable you NEED to be writing it. maybe that means it’s important to be honest and get it out there.”
(I’m not sure who was just talking, but it was interesting.)

Matt miller maybebaby, blog with his wife about trying to get pregnant. i get myself in a lot of trouble b/c people don’t think ihave a right to be talking about parenthood or trying to conceive. stereotypes. to me that’s the most important hting that i do. i dont keep anyhting personal in my blog, my whole office knows i have to ice my testicles. i’m closer now to people than iv’ve ever been. (The entire audience applauds. Let’s think about that. we did not applaud any of the women who spoke. is it so necessary for us to specially praise our male allies in this way? why is it? a nice comment but, is this guy somehow more brave to speak in women’s space than women are to speak in mens or for us to even HAVE women’s space? would guys go out of theier way to make women so appreciated feeling in male dominated space? (NO… instead they harass the shit out of you and expect you to smile and thank them.) )

someone says “if my parents act like idiots and jerks I get to write about it. I get to say it. if they don’t like it they can stop acting like idiots and jerks.”


Mary Tsao points out sometimes she confesses personal detials in public, to everyone. but then she gets personal confessions one on one from people, which is different. and more intimate than she really wants.

Mur talking sf
Powers – comic book – very astro cityish – read it!
her daughter dressed as pink tornado! dcute!
issue of swamp thing “The curse” v interesting

lunch digital ethnorati
talked with laina talked with kathryn in prep for panel at 2:45

talking about shwag and how funny it is. the towels… good size for fuck towels! electrolicious was like “they should be all red and brown and mottled!” hahahaha!

“safe space” panel. lynne d johnson susie bright and others

susie: concept of safe space from feminist movements, used as weapon to shut people down

sj asks from the audience what does bullying mean to you how do you define that
susie – being erased, by misogynist comments that are not relevant

annalee: what susie’s saying is so important and cool*
me: as usual!

Tara Hunt : “insidious danger of danger” post. getting emails from people … kathy sierra situation. Tara wrote a post about finding your higher purpose. group of bloggers that hates anything that smacks of self help. nazis… godwins law… i deleted comments and called them meankids. they started a blog called that with phtoshopped pics of me and i went to them and said you’re giving me more attention than i deserve, i’m flattered, you spent a lot fo time photoshoping me. Kathy went on there to defend me and said dont pick on tara. they turned to her and it escalated. photo of her with a noose beside her head. the only thing she’s fit for is a noose in her neck size. then about maryam scoble, said terrible things about her. somone (well, frank p actually i think) took that blog down and came to their senses. then bobsyouruncle started. it was truly awful sexist gross things. women, snails slugs etc. kathy with underwear over her head suffocating her. kathy then said that’s it, i cant go to these conferences any more, i can’t take it. meanwhile anonymous commmenters on her blog were saying i want to cut off your head and … (Tara continues to tell this story… Kathy posted… shredded other characters meantime which was not helpful but, that started the whole thing)

audicene: her name and social security number and home address, were then posted online. hostpiatl visits, personal finances, everyting he could find, and posted it.

(I Want to know who that was that posted that stuff.)

People are talking stories of their actual online/person stalkers. It worked well to ask planned parenthood, as they know how to deal, you hire a security consultant. and they take care of it, they go talk to the guy. and that works well…When the police won’t help.

Whether you believe there’s a danger or not… varying levels… what is your personal threshhold…

Susie – talking about strict but gracious comment policy on blog… feminine tendency was “maybe that person doesn’t MEAN to be obscene and gross and insulting… should i treat them like a troll? maybe not?” Now it’s more like “NO. not at all.” they thrive on attention. cut off the attention and they wither. my first stalking and assassintation threats were offline. u of minnesota to give a talk about women and sexual self expression, people pased out flyers, first t here was slavery in the roman empire, then the holocause, then susie bright. there was a girl in the bathroom with a knife, we just shamed her. i was 8 months pregnant. i was a real woman, it was absurd, she was like a child, she had a cause, she believed i was the enemy. that was wild. there’s always that little chance. but there’s always that little chance about life. i dont regret anythign about my activism. if you know me you know i get upset about things, i cry, etc. BUT I WON’T STOP.

Tara: molly holzschlag, …

Lynne: I put it out there and i’m a senior editor at fastcompany. it’s a strength.

Tara: i think it’s a sign of strength to say fuck you that’s who i am, deal with it.

susie: we hear about powerful men who go away for rehab. etc. and it doesn’t hurt THEM. and we certainly hear they sleep around. and it doesn’t hurt them either. but if we admit anything personal …

audience member: all this personal criticism, it taught me a lot. now in professional life it’s like NOTHING. people are like “did the negative reviews of your book bother you? and i’m like NO… no one called my mom a dyke! it was a walk in the park! this is a silver lining amongst the hate. i have toughened up.

post partum dpresssion blogger saying i dont give a crap… you would nt want to be with those people anyway… it’s notgoing to work. you have to have a sense of humor. article in newsweek quoting me on post partum depression, just felt like put a copy on all my neighbors’ doorstesp with a note like PS, I love to babysit! (laughter applause from audience.)

simply hired guy goes on and on for a long time a fine point, just very long and rambly

susie – motivation of people who want to shut you down sometimes is intense jealousy. i dont know how to deal at times.

audience member – i think not jealousy it’s boredom. on maya’s mom it is boredom. ignore and they will go away.

lynne – agrees ignore them sometimes works

audience – story about life as a writer and activist. tried not to offend traditional catholic family. then invented a character who had my name. looooooonnnnnng story of when it happened to me catholics hate mail etc. wishing my mother had aborted me. i posted all the hate mail on my blog with comments and theological critique and annotation. adn then i got all these hits and it was like the best thing that happened to my career. so they realized it was really good for me. and now i dont fear anything and i take comments on my blog.

annalee – i blog for wired and pop sci and other geeky places like that. a cautionary note. hunting for a job at same time as opinionated story. a quick anonymized story. incredibly over qualified person for the job. everyone loved her resume. etc. then they looked at her personal blogs and one person in particular objected and felt she was too opnionated. and we went on to hire someone who SUCKED. and the first person went on to get a better job anyway. but it can bite you in the ass to be opinionated. and it came out okay for her. but for 90 other women it might not have come out okay. There is risk.


panelist: for anyone who does blog they SHOULDd know they are not really anonymous. they should keep that risk in mind.

SJ: i’m I asshole. these bitches in the PTA… i have moveable type, i can edit my comments. i can make them say “i’m going home right now to fuck puppies.” wtf. *applause laughter*

comment from audience: virginia woolf kill angel on your shoulder.

susie: being brave, etc. not always brave

tara: inner gollum. make peace with my inner gollum! job issue. didn’t mean to be flippant about it… my dream is that everyone is able to act really human and open and stop putting up these facads…we all have broken wing days… we live in this world that says we’re not allowed to talk about these things. but everyone feels that way at some point.

susie – if you’re 19 and your’ blogging! how many people can i be…. etc. you get to try that out! (you are not always the same person)


intolerance intervention panel

Went well, was fun, laina and kathryn and tish were awesome, coherent, fascinating!!! audience talked interestingly too!


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One Response to “Blogher notes, Friday, rambly ongoing”

  1. minnie

    ooo, as much as i usually hate panels this one sounds interesting!

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