Unstoppable anxiety dreams all night

I had a night full of anxiety dreams and leg spasms, finally going to sleep again for real around 8:30. I think at 7 I got up for some hot milk and found Moomin in bed cosily reading comic books so I went to cuddle with him for a while. He explained the beginning of “Power Pack” to me but recommended I go back to read it all. I was touched when he checked with me before turning the page to make sure I was caught up! And he was so warm and cuddly. I’m resolving to read him The Hobbit in bed as soon as he and Rook are done with the comic book version of it.

Power Pack looked good; its illustrations were pure cheezy 70s comic book, but the story was good. The bit I read was 2 young kids named Katie and Julie stealing some sort of world-destroying device which an evil business tycoon had in his office (along with some candy bars which Moomin found charmingly naughty of them) and I think a 3rd kid maybe a brother — cut with scenes of the Snarks, matriarchal lizard aliens in a spaceship plotting to blow up the universe of the other, good, aliens. Moomin explained their interesting powers – gravity, power over density and mass, energizer, and lightspeed who is really good at acceleration. I think the comic must make a stab at explaining the actual concepts of things like mass, inertia, gravity, and acceleration! Nicely educational!

I would recommend Power Pack to other parents as a good superhero comic — and at least in the one issue that I read (randomly in the middle of the series) it wasn’t annoyingly sexist! I see from its description that it “deals with mature themes” like coming across people dead of drug use. I don’t mind this. Moomin’s old enough to read a newspaper, he can read a comic book that has homeless people and pre-teen superheroes who accidentally kill people with their powers and are wracked with remorse. It might be harder to explain to a 4 year old though.

The second batch of anxiety dreams were also around cars and wheelchairs and stairs and getting around. My house this time was a modern steel and glass and chrome version of my old co-op. I kept falling asleep in different places in a sort of haze — in a sort of jacuzzi bathtub, waking to realize I had gotten in with all the top part of my clothes still on, a tank top and tshirt and sweatshirt over them, and they were getting wet, and the water had all drained out and I had to pee and yet was disheartened at the thought of getting out of the tub to pee and then getting back in to wash afterwards so as to be nice and clean for a while. (Clearly I need a Washlet in this dream! Click that link, you’ll laugh your ass off.)

My friends from work also lived in my strange chrome and steel house. I dreamed typing things into a term window, and work friends IM-ing me and sending me files, and downloading and ftp-ing things all over the place but getting stuck in none of it working right. For a while it was like my mom also lived in my house. Plus my friend Ian H. with an enormous suitcase full of tiny electronic devices with LEDs blinking on and off and a vaguely internetty company name. I kept vaguely waking up from masturbating (in the dream) and then realizing people were all around me and the door was open… or had been right in the next room able to overhear my giant vibrator. (Oops.) It went on like that for a while; it had scenes where I was stuck in gravel, or in my wheelchair behind cars that were backing up and shouting for them to stop and knowing they weren’t stopping, or waking up over and over, or thinking I’d just gone to the bathroom in the dream but then still having to go, or realizing I had no pants on; all of that.

It was a perfectly good day yesterday! Why the dreams! Maybe because I had a few nights of taking muscle relaxants, and last night I didn’t?

One Response to “Unstoppable anxiety dreams all night”

  1. Pretty Lady

    It was a perfectly good day yesterday! Why the dreams!
    Actually, I think stuff like that wells up out of your psyche when you are feeling safe enough to process it. So perhaps you had them because you had a perfectly good day yesterday.

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